Written by b kenneth mcgee

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Reince Priebus, chairman of the GOP issued a joint statement this morning with members of the Tea Party caucus in Congress. It reads in part: "Get your filthy gobmint hands off disaster relief. The only members not signing the declaration were those representing Atlantic Coast states.

The statement continued with a quote from Presidential candidate Mitt Romney and one from VP candidate Paul Ryan.

Romney: "If you are affected by this devastating storm our suggestion to you is rent a hotel suite from Courtyard Inns and call your parents for a loan. If you are an older person the government of Greenland is taking reservations from those over sixty-five years of age for space on an ice flow currently breaking apart in the North Atlantic. They will take credit cards and proof of burial insurance."

Paul Ryan: "For those citizens of our country who were too lazy to take the wagon trains west and kill the Indians to make the world safe for democracy, we would say, bout time! You thought you were better than the rest of us! Ayn Rand would puke before she would give you a nickel!"

Priebus closed the statement saying: "We care about all Americans and please know we will continue to stick our nose in your vagina. What we don't give a hoot about is your veranda!"

In related news, Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey and Governor Rick Scott of Florida issued statements this morning noting they were both switching political parties and are now Democrats.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: GOP, Hurricane Sandy

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