London - "Just checking HM's knickers for paranormal activity," a parapsychologist from the Met's 'Ghostbuster' unit commented, "hopefully there'll be no Jimmy Savile hexoplasm down those murky depths!"
The Buckingham Palace sweep has been ordered ahead of a Halloween state visit by the Indonesian Chief Vampire President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono.
Universally reviled as a blood-sucking dictator the former army general is wanted on West Papua New Guinea genocide charges with a 'citizen's arrest' bounty of £50,000 promised by the UK-based Free West Papua Campaign.
He is due to be gonged up by Queen Elizabeth with an honorary Order of the Bloodbath knighthood at a Halloween ceremony in the Palace's Stay Puft Marshmallow Man wing at tea time Wednesday.
Later in the evening hordes of champagne-sloshing royal Z-Lister 'Minions of Gozer' will be joining the 'Trick Or Treaty' state dinner for the Indonesian rascal.
"Unless, of course, the Queen croaks it beforehand," a footman chuckled, "in a Halloween karmic payback for shagging loads of pervs."
