Britain's Top Tosser Breaks Wrist
In a stunning volte face regarding stories containing smutty innuendo and double entendres, top satirical website thespoof.com today ran a story about Britain's Biggest Wanker breaking his wrist in an unfortunate onanistic accident, as he was lobbing...
Read full storyDead Men Don't Breathe
The results of a 'fascinating'* study by students at UOL revealed something that most people probably already knew, but equally probably weren't probably consciously aware of. Probably. Viz a viz: Following a comprehensive study of sixteen t...
Read full storyReports Of Deadly Asteroid Hitting Earth "Probably" Overblown
The continuing daily reports that asteroid "2012 DA14" hitting the Earth late this year, or more likely, early next year are somewhat overblown according to Today's Science Journal. "Oh, it could hit us", stated Dr. Harold Nitzberg of NASA. "But e...
Read full storyRNC Wagged Wasserman
NewsMax has just revealed that Debbie Wasserman Schultz, current Chairman of Democratic National Committee, is actually a "double-agent" who was recruited for her position by members of the Republican National Committee (RNC). Wasserman fircely deni...
Read full story"Some of my best friends are Rednecks!" Romney in Alabama!
As Mitt Romney started his speech to University of Alabama alumni yesterday in Birmingham, apparently, he didn't notice the stunned silence and the frowning faces. "Well," he paused, "actually, I have friends that employ a great many of you folks...
Read full storyDigital Disaster on Horizon
Experts from the world over are gathered in Zimbabwe this week to consider what may be the most important crisis ever to beset person-kind: a shortage of aughts and singular integers. The United Nation's International Panel for Preservation of In...
Read full storyPrince Harry is an effin disgrace and everybody knows it
London - A moneylaundering cabal of bent lawyers, accountants, royal arse wipers and members of Mrs Thatcher's organised crime syndicates has been bankrolling this fetid interloper according to weekend broadsheet reports. Daft Mr Gingernuts as he...
Read full storyAl Shabaab-Kebab terror chief 'is Lord Lucan's son': reports
East Africa - The charcoal grilled lamb-peddling terror outfit's commander has tested DNA positive as Lord Lucan's son, spawned during the fugitive peer's UK taxpayer-funded grand tour of Africa according to reports. Vladimir Dim-Eatery Lucan Shis...
Read full storyGOP Candidate Mitt Romney Wins Hog Calling Contest In Hog Jaw Arkansas
They said it couldn't be done, but apparently it has, and some poor sucker has been left to clean up the residual mess, but city slickin' GOP candidate Mitt Romney, the Boston fandangler appears to have won over the Conservative electorate in the Dee...
Read full storyJoseph Kony 2012 campaign stealing thunder from Paul, Romney, Santorum
HARFOLD, Vt. - Thanks to a campaign video which has gone viral this week, Ron Paul, Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum have begun taking a back seat to Joseph Kony and his Kony 2012 campaign. With 62 million hits, Kony 2012 has kicked the asses of any...
Read full storyThe Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Part Six
The Story So Far: There still isn't much of a story really, but the clues are all there, providing you know where to look. It's a complex web of intrigue - so complex in fact that nobody seems to know what the fuck is going on. We're only up to Episode Six, and already the comedic devices appear to be mined to exhaustion. Stiffy, the priapic comedy dog appears to have vanished off the face of the...
Read full storyGo on Dave, Get Some In My Son!
Part time Prime Minister Dave Cameroon has told how he and his sexually wanton wife Sam keep their romance alive with weekly date nights. The part time PM said that depite his busy schedule of globe trotting and escort girl sampling , he and Sam s...
Read full storyHull City Fan Is "Pissed Off" With Team's Form
A football fan living in the Thai capital of Bangkok has confessed that he is "pissed off" with the current form of the team, which has seen them draw their last four League matches, scoring only one solitary goal in the process. Moys Kenwood, a s...
Read full storySupermarket Wars start World War 3
Tossco, Britain's biggest and dearest Supermarket chain (after Wotrose) has suffered a fall in its UK sales for the fourth consecutive quarter, despite a £500 million discounting campaign. The latter produced fantastic discounts averaging as much as...
Read full storyRussell Brand Confesses That Kate Gosselin Is The Best Girlfriend That He Has Ever Had
LOS ANGELES - Russell Brand recently revealed to a Hollywood publication that he has never been happier than at the present time due to his new girlfriend Kate Gosselin. Brand who filed for divorce from his sensuously sexy wife Katy Perry two and...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner and Demi Lovato Caught In An Erotic Embrace At The Encino Reservoir
ENCINO, California - Twilight Saga series star Taylor Lautner and singing sensation Demi Lovato have both denied the rumors that they have been dating for the past week. But the two were spotted parked in Lautner's late model Cadillac Escalade SUV...
Read full storyCancer No Longer #1 Killer In America: Morbid Obesity And Accidents Form Surprise Team
ATLANTA, GA--In what is already being hailed as one of the most depressing pieces of news in weeks, the Centers for Disease Control have rolled out their annual list of leading causes of death for 2011, and it appears that neither cancer, nor heart d...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Still Pines for British Man Who Ditched her for a Tart
It was the summer of 2010, and Kate Gosselin was at the peak of not only her reality show acting career but also the peak of her sexuality. Divorced since 2009, Gosselin was hot to trot, but looking for love in a small Pennsylvania town with cameras...
Read full storyLatest Episode Of Crap Serial - 'The Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six' - Out Today...Sometime
Parental Advisory - This Article Contains The 'C' Word Literary critics hailed today's upcoming release of the latest episode in the interminably dreary 'adventure serial' - The Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Six -...
Read full storyScientists Discover Sloths Can Do Math
Top Slothologist Benny Jones has made, quite frankly, one of the most ground breaking although slowest discoveries about the South American mammal in the 21st century. Sloths not only count and can solve mathematical equations, but they do so usi...
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