Scientists Discover Sloths Can Do Math

Funny story written by Ellie James

Saturday, 10 March 2012

image for Scientists Discover Sloths Can Do Math
A Base 6 Hand

Top Slothologist Benny Jones has made, quite frankly, one of the most ground breaking although slowest discoveries about the South American mammal in the 21st century.

Sloths not only count and can solve mathematical equations, but they do so using the senary numeral system, which is a base-6 numeral system. Scientists had originally believed that sloths either counted in base 2 (binary) or base 3 (ternary).

Jones, who continued the work of famed Slothologist Dr. Kenneth Franklin, who is said to be the Father of Slothology, upon the death of Dr. Franklin ten years ago.

"Dr. Franklin's passing was not a shock to be honest," said Jones, "But the Slothing community as a whole was saddened that he didn't live long enough to see his hypothesis come to fruition."

Decades of notes and taped copies of Franklin's fieldwork were kept in pristine condition, and Jones later continued the work.

According to Jones, what made Franklin's research which he, himself, put the finishing touches on in recent months, so amazing was that most of the scientific community thought it was just obvious that the two-toed sloth used base 2 while the three-toed sloth used base 3.

However, Franklin and Jones' combined efforts discovered that sloths claws, like human hands, have six positions that each represents a unit in base 6. This wasn't the only clue that led to the discovery.

Jones made an astonishing discovery when he happened upon prime numbers written out in base 6, and the only creatures around were sloths holding sticks. One sloth was still writing the 1 in 21 as Jones watched. In fact, cameras are still recording the animal writing the number and the creature appears to be almost finished.

"It's not everyday that you get to see a mammal count in base 6. Aside from chimps and humans, that is," commented Jones.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more