Written by Bureau

Saturday, 10 March 2012

image for Reports Of Deadly Asteroid Hitting Earth "Probably" Overblown
Only the size of Manhattan

The continuing daily reports that asteroid "2012 DA14" hitting the Earth late this year, or more likely, early next year are somewhat overblown according to Today's Science Journal.

"Oh, it could hit us", stated Dr. Harold Nitzberg of NASA. "But even if it did, at least half of us would still be alive. Although WHICH half is still being studied."

Nitzberg told reporters that he wouldn't sweat the problem and that everything usually worked out for the best.

"It would have to make it through the Earth's atmosphere first and that would cut down it's size by half or more. Most likely, it would only be the size of Manhattan."

Dr. Nitzberg continued to try to downplay any anxiety over the event, saying that there is only a 75% chance of this happening.

Another scientist at NASA backed up Nitzberg's report with a bit of levity.

"Wouldn't it be funny if it HIT Manhattan? Hee Hee! It's the size of Manhattan and it hits Manhattan! Don't tell me Mother Nature doesn't have a sense of humor!"

Both scientists continued to reassure the public.

"Actually the thing is in orbit right close to the Earth so it could hit at any time. If so, and you're one of the lucky ones, let's get together again and share some killer asteroid jokes. I already got a dozen ready for just an occasion."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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