Russell Brand Confesses That Kate Gosselin Is The Best Girlfriend That He Has Ever Had

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 10 March 2012

image for Russell Brand Confesses That Kate Gosselin Is The Best Girlfriend That He Has Ever Had
All of Kate Gosselin's eight kids say they absolutely love Uncle Rusty (Brand).

LOS ANGELES - Russell Brand recently revealed to a Hollywood publication that he has never been happier than at the present time due to his new girlfriend Kate Gosselin.

Brand who filed for divorce from his sensuously sexy wife Katy Perry two and a half months ago has made it known that Kate "The Great" has put the sunshine back in his cloudy life.

The Englishman recently told Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight that when he was married to Katy it was always all about her.

He stated she was always asking "Honey, does my hair look great?" "Baby, is my make up on perfect?" and "Cupcake, are my puppies showing ever so gorgeously?"

He smiled as he said that with Kate Gosselin it is all about him. She asks if she can get him a bottle of water, or a salami and cheese sandwich, or a condom?

Brand said that he unlike Kate's previous boyfriend American Idol's Steven "Lips" Tyler, really gets along great with Kate's eight kids.

When de Gallo pointed out that several reporters have stated that the eight Gosselin kids are pretty much all first rate brats Russell smiled and said that the key to getting along with the Gosselin kids is to give them each $5 every time you see them.

He said that he has worked out a monetary deal with them and that it works like a charm. Whenever he visits Kate in her Reading, Pennsylvania home he immediately gives each kid his or her own $5 and they then know to immediately go off to their rooms and play.

Brand said that it is well worth the $40 to be able to be alone with their mom and concentrate 100 percent on their passionate mattress merriment.

Russell says that he has been with hundreds and hundreds of women but that Kate is the best one he has ever had.

He grinned as he fiddled with his long hair and remarked somewhat blushingly that each one of their vavavooming sessions seems like a New Year's Day fireworks display.

In late breaking news. Three Midwest states Kansas, Iowa, and Nebraska have just banned Rush Limbaugh from ever setting foot within their borders.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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