Prince Philip 'should be docked wages for missing Jubilee Celebrations'
The mood was dampened today on the Queens Diamond Jubilee celebration, as a rogue MP claimed that Prince Philip should have two days pay deducted for missing the last two of the four day celebration. Philip, who was 90 in February, was admitted to...
Read full storyBarbara Walters & Bashar Al-Assad? What about 'Valerie Simpleton & Joseph Kony'?
London - The octogenarian doyenne of American news broadcasting has been knocked off her high perch in the controversial Bashar Al Assad affair. Twenty-four hours after the scandal went viral a new drama is unfolding in London amid revelations tha...
Read full storyDave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Tich to reform
The 1960s pop/rock five piece is set to reform, and try and recapture their former hedonistic days. The group had a number one hit with The Legend of Xanadu. "As most people know," said John Hatchman, who took on the mantle of Mick after Mick Wil...
Read full storyRonnie O'Sullivan to 'take some time off' from snooker and the internet
World champion Ronnie O'Sullivan is to "take some time off" from competitive snooker after refusing to sign the official players' contract. Ronnie made the announcement on his official website earlier today. A spokesman for Ilford High St inte...
Read full storyEuro 2012: Soccer pundit Alan Hansen scores own goal
Football pundit Alan Hansen was mocked by fans today over his selections on the BBC website today for the tournament which starts on Friday. He named a top four to watch of Brazil, Scotland, West Germany and Yugoslavia. Brazil are ineligible f...
Read full storyTransit of Venus and CERN "Caused National Hysteria"
An elite team of Oxford and Cambridge scientists has come to a surprising conclusion about why the nation was grabbed by hysteria over the past few days: a combination of the transit of Venus and operations at CERN released a large number of the so-c...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Finally Get Engaged - Miley Puts All of Her Lap Dancing Costumes on eBay
SANTA MONICA - Miley Cyrus the singer who gained notoriety as Hannah Montana on the Disney Channel and her Australian boyfriend of three years Liam Hemsworth have finally announced that they are engaged. The dynamic duo celebrated by going out to...
Read full story"It's a bloody scandal!"
It is a well known fact within Buckingham Palace circles that HR Prince Philip, 'Phil the Greek' or 'Bubbler' to his mates, is a lifelong randy bastard who has gone through more females than most of us have had hot dinners! Since his disastrous we...
Read full storyWoody Woodpecker Throws Fundraiser For President Obama
BILLINGSGATE POST - Liberal Hollywood cartoon character, Woody Woodpecker, threw a gala fund raising dinner party for the President at his tree house overlooking the Pacific Ocean last evening. Guests, including the five Steven(Stephen) brothers, Sp...
Read full storyCDC and Homeland Security Deny Small mid Western Town Rampant With Zombie Virus
The CDC and Homeland Security are denying reports that the town of Firton, Nebraska has been "isolated and quarantined" after residents became infected with the Zombie virus currently sweeping across the United States. Unconfirmed reports are clai...
Read full storyElton John Still Standing After Fracas with Chinese Pianist
Pop star Elton John was taking into custody by Police Officers last night after a fracas that marred the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Celebrations. The star of hits like Rocket Man and I'm Still Standing was said to have reacted angrily to Chinese Pian...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Garlic Festival's latest event
The world famous Isle of Wight Garlic Festival is looking for the country's Garlicks to come forward and be recognised. "We've been running the Garlic Festival for something like fifteen hundred years," said event organiser, Carl Garlick. "We felt...
Read full storySpacecraft Captures the Transit of Venus and Your Anus
CAPE CANAVERAL, Fl. - The Solar Dynamics Observatory recorded the transit of Venus as well as Your Anus, posting much of this video on its website. Observers noted the bright active region in the northern solar hemisphere as Venus passed over, wit...
Read full storyQuentin Kelp MP - Post Jubilee Special
Dear Constituents That was a most hectic and long weekend. For those of you who weren't able to make the Jubilee garden fete to hear my opening speech, it went very well although I was glad to be speaking from under the awning of the main marquee. My suit would have got very wet. Unfortunately the thunder and lightning frightened the children away to the ice cream tent so I was forced to r...
Read full storyMicrosoft Help Centre Call To Fix Your Computer
Microsoft have set up a new system to help their estimated three billion customers. Whenever any slowdown happens, whenever a virus makes its way onto a computer, and whenever there is any kind of crash, they are instantly notified. This then allows...
Read full storyOxford University's Pushy Parents - The Answer
A top academic reckons he has the perfect answer to 'pushy parents' who are increasingly encouraging their children to query marks at institutions such as Oxford University. These parents have become accustomed to paying for re-sits and re-marks a...
Read full storyFord Transit Found On The Sun!
Sky watchers and astronomers alike are said to be amazed following a sensational once in a lifetime occurrence, when a black 1977 Ford Transit appeared on the Sun earlier today. It's strongly suspected that the van, Reg No. HGT 432 S, is a piece o...
Read full storyHeat Wilt in the Bright Sunshine
Celtics fans, after Game 5 of the Miami series, may be reserving the duck boats. The Celtics should call the local funeral parlor and order a couple of hearses. Pick up the Heat after Thursday's game and take them to the graveyard. In Miami, the...
Read full storyPrince Philip caught sexting pyjama shots to Archbishop of Canterbury!
London - A dreadful SMS mistake involving just one digit has seen Dr Rowan Williams receive some amusing Diamond Jubilee pics on his mobile phone. The 'Whoa, gedda load of this, darlin!' signed off with 'Randy Bunnykins' messages were apparently m...
Read full storyPhilip's Obituary Mistakenly Published
In a slip up which could see heads rolling at Spoof HQ the Obituary of Prince Philip has been published. A person thought to be close to Spoof's Higher Circles explained that the mistake was really due to a misreading of a statement from the Princ...
Read full storyQueen announces final torchbearer for London 2012 - Erskine Quint, aristocratic mercurial stud!
Queen Elizabeth has revealed her worst kept secret regarding who will run the final leg and light the Olympic flame on July 26th in London. Everybody thought it would be blistered rower, Sir Steven Redgrave, who won gold medals at 5 Olympics, but a s...
Read full storyCalifornia to Sell Catalina Island to Pay off Debts
Sacramento (SAPP) - When Democrat Jerry Brown took office in 2011 following the end of Arnold Schwarzenegger's term as governor, the warning bells were beginning to sound. "I thought that Brown was going to be a terror on fiscal issues, and I was rig...
Read full storyA List of 10 Vampire Movies To Be Released This Summer
Paragovo Gabskigrad of Sofia, Bulgaria is considered to be the world's foremost expert on vampires. He wrote in his most recent book titled 7,001 Amazingly Amazing Facts About Vampires that vampires have been around ever since September of 1047. Gabskigrad noted that 865 years later in 1912, the first vampire movie was filmed. The motion picture was shot in Great Britain and the title w...
Read full storySneezing Monkeys Land Commercial Endorsements
Sneezing monkeys have a lot to celebrate. They were recently named to Arizona State University's annual Top 10 New Species list. And there's more. The resulting publicity has had an amazing side effect. The sneezing monkeys have signed contra...
Read full storyShocker! Queen on Diamond Jubilee Celebrations - 'What a bloody let down'
Well, as the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations gently wind to a close across the nation, and Cliff Richard gets put back in his box until Wimbledon, shocking news reaches us here in 'newsland' of Her Majesty's verdict on the long weekend's events,...
Read full storyChurch of England Rebranded "Architectural Tours Ltd."
The Church of England is undergoing a name change and will henceforth be known as Architectural Tours Ltd. The alteration is taking place to reflect the changing role of the Church in the life of the nation. A spokesman from St Paul's Cathedral...
Read full storyPrince Philip 'Faked Illness' To Avoid Diamond Jubilee Concert
The Duke of Edinburgh faked illness so that he wouldn't have to sit through the Queen's Diamond Jubilee concert, it has been alleged. I alleged it, just now. The Prince was taken to hospital with what was supposed to be a bladder infection yest...
Read full storyRicky Gervais Addresses Those Persistent Drinking Rumors
LAS VEGAS - Ricky Gervais traveled to Las Vegas to visit the world famous Hoover Dam. The British comedian stood in awe as he gazed upon the concrete monstrosity and simply remarked "Damn!" (no pun intended). Gervais was accompanied by his hair...
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