Penis Pumps Blamed For Sucking Off Medicare Funds: Called GIP-VASES

Funny story: Penis Pumps Blamed For Sucking Off Medicare Funds: Called GIP-VASES

BILLINGSGATE POST - A new report by federal auditors blames a Kansas-based company for possibly cheating Medicare and causing the premature ejaculation of Medicare funds through potentially fraudulent claims involving penis pumps. The auditors are a...

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Attorney General Eric Holder, Obama's "Good Buddy", Never Misses A Happy Hour

Despite failing to produce the documents requested for the congressional investigation into the Justice Department's botched Fast and Furious gun walking operation Attorney General Eric Holder still managed time to sing karaoke and knock back a coup...

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Additional Assistants "Absolutely Fine" Insist England

The FA have backed up their long standing view that the introduction of goal-line technology is completely unnecessary, praising the "stand-up job" done by UEFA's additional assistants in the wake of England's controversial 1-0 victory over the Ukrai...

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Kirstie Alley Volunteers for Balloon Duty with U.S. Navy. Pointing Epidemic Spreads

Los Angeles - There were a few tense moments at the recruiting station today as Ms. Alley attempted to enter, albeit sideways. Things went a bit better after the door was removed, but not much. Once she caught her breath, she announced, "I'...

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Elderly couple blow life savings on Moon rock

An elderly Saddleworth couple were counting the cost of an investment that went badly wrong for them. Eric Stoat (84) and his wife Doris (87) had seen an advertisement on the Internet for a company that was selling acres of the Moon to individual inv...

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Aung San Suu Kyi is an old fraud says Hellfire Club accountant

Funny story: Aung San Suu Kyi is an old fraud says Hellfire Club accountant

London - "Stands to reason, innit?" Sir Galahad Belgrano, chief bean counter to the Illuminati said today as the Burmese 'pro-democracy campaigner' arrived in London. "Gotta be a total fraud for Speaker Bercow to schmooze her like she's some sort...

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Obama Earmarked for Deportation after Election Defeat

Plans are afoot to deport Barack Obama from the US after he is defeated in November's election. It is understood that secret talks between Mitt Romney and immigration officials have already taken place and, once Romney is sworn in a s President and...

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Mitt Romney Says If Elected President He Will Allow All of His Mormon Relatives From Mexico To Come To The U.S. No Questions Asked

Funny story: Mitt Romney Says If Elected President He Will Allow All of His Mormon Relatives From Mexico To Come To The U.S. No Questions Asked

NAUGATUCK, Connecticut - Mitt Romney's Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour made a stop in the lovely New England town of Naugatuck, Connecticut. Naugatuck is noted for being the home of the fuchsia-breasted sap sucker, an unusual bird...

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Here Comes Kevin Youkilis, Mannywood or Bust

Red Sox star and occasional slumper Kevin Youkilis is apparently on the chopping block. The executioner is singing, "Sweet Caroline," one more time. At least Youk is on the short shopping list. The Red Sox have decided they have a surfeit of playe...

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Balotelli's boots are not bigger than his mouth!

Funny story: Balotelli's boots are not bigger than his mouth!

Infamous Italian substitute and general outrageous loud-mouth, Mario Balotelli (who?), proved last night that his gigantic mouth is bigger than his huge boots. After receiving 15 minutes of play from the Italian coach, he managed to swing his boot...

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Cartoon character Gaston picked by Bildaburger for 2016 election

Funny story: Cartoon character Gaston picked by Bildaburger for 2016 election

Belgium - The secretive Bildaburger Group has chosen cartoon character Gaston to run for the office of President of the United States of America, according to our source, Jamie Rockafeltafish, one of the elite with a big mouth. According to our so...

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Where Did Mitt Romney's Too Tight Blue Jeans Go?

Funny story: Where Did Mitt Romney's Too Tight Blue Jeans Go?

The Campaign Dress Review is questioning where the Mitt Romney too tight blue jeans went. The jeans made his movements appear awkward, his feet shuffling with inch-worm steps addressing people to his right, followed by inch-worm steps addressing pe...

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'Copycat' Tarot clue as 'Hanged Man' found in Hyde Park

Funny story: 'Copycat' Tarot clue as 'Hanged Man' found in Hyde Park

London - The find comes nearly one year after the discovery of a dead man 'impersonating a major arcana Tarot card' opposite Buckingham Palace - as reported by QM-NewsCorpse. "It's an eerie echo of the July 2011 incident," an early morning jogger...

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Former Red Sox and Yankee Roger Clemens No Hits the Feds in Court Verdict

Roger Clemens has been found not guilty on all counts in his eight-week trial, his second go-round over a four-year span. Jurors may have figured the cost of his legal representation likely punished him enough. A guilty verdict would have been red...

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National Institute for the Deaf are worried about mopeds

Funny story: National Institute for the Deaf are worried about mopeds

The National Institute for the Deaf have issued a warning about mopeds, as they are concerned that a generation of teenagers will be destroying their hearing. "In the past we've been worried about teenagers and earphones, rock concerts and talking...

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WWE Wrestling Introduces Zombie Wrestling

Funny story: WWE Wrestling Introduces Zombie Wrestling

WWE CEO and Chairman Vincent McMahon announced today that his company will be introducing a new category to his famous wrestling shows. The new category is Zombie Wrestling. Mr. McMahon said in a prepared statement, "For years we've been fighting...

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Homoeopathic researchers detect Archimedes bath water

Funny story: Homoeopathic researchers detect Archimedes bath water

Homoeopathic researchers at the Water Memory Project in Bath have successfully located the homoeopathic trace memory of the very bath water that Archimedes leapt from whilst shouting Eureka three thousand years ago. "We are bowled over by this dis...

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Zombies Asking For Food Stamps

Funny story: Zombies Asking For Food Stamps

Today world leaders have been barraged with complaints from Zombie United to give aid and comfort to underprivileged zombies. Zombies United conducted a world-wide survey of zombies walking the different countries and found that seven out of ten...

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Obama's Professor Talks; Now Other Teachers Talk Too

Funny story: Obama's Professor Talks; Now Other Teachers Talk Too

The floodgates have opened since one of Obama's former professors gave a negative review of his presidency. Now teachers all over the U.S. are talking about their former students. But unlike the professor's critique of President Obama, these ar...

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President Obama and The First Family Visit The Queen Mary and The President Makes A Little Semi-Racial Remark

Funny story: President Obama and The First Family Visit The Queen Mary and The President Makes A Little Semi-Racial Remark

LONG BEACH, California - President Obama and the first family traveled to Long Beach to take a tour of the RMS Queen Mary which sailed the North Atlantic Ocean from 1936 to 1967. Malia and Sasha Obama first mentioned that they wanted to visit the...

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The Stars of The Vampire Diaries Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Address The Skinny Dipping Rumors

Funny story: The Stars of The Vampire Diaries Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Address The Skinny Dipping Rumors

CATALINA ISLAND, California - Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev flew over to Catalina Island to get a much needed break from the hectic pace of the place called LaLaLand. The couple has been extremely busy filming Vampire Diaries and working as much...

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Kobe Bryant of The Los Angeles Lakers Is Getting Ready To Make An Amazing Announcement

Funny story: Kobe Bryant of The Los Angeles Lakers Is Getting Ready To Make An Amazing Announcement

LOS ANGELES - It is no secret to the members of the Lakers Nation that their superstar Kobe Bryant is not a happy camper and has not been since back in the glory days of Shaquille O'Neal, Robert Horry, and Rick Fox. Bryant recently confessed to Do...

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X-Factor's L.A. Reid Is Tired of Simon Cowell's "Gruesome Twosome" Britney Spears and Demi Lovato's Feuding

Funny story: X-Factor's L.A. Reid Is Tired of Simon Cowell's "Gruesome Twosome" Britney Spears and Demi Lovato's Feuding

HOLLYWOOD - It appears that the sophomore edition of X-Factor is having more behind-the-scenes drama that the final season of Desperate Housewives. X-Factor Judge L.A. Reid recently sat down with Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innuendo at The W...

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The Divided States Of America

Funny story: The Divided States Of America

North America --In an effort to please the three major political parties, citizens have conducted a vote to split North America equally between the three parties. As a result, each party and all those citizens who support it will have approximately t...

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Roger Clemens Is Found Not Guilty On All 6 Charges - He's Immediately Offered A Contract To Pitch For The Chicago Cubs

Funny story: Roger Clemens Is Found Not Guilty On All 6 Charges - He's Immediately Offered A Contract To Pitch For The Chicago Cubs

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former major league baseball pitcher Roger Clemens was found not guilty on all six federal charges that had been filed against him. The fireballing pitcher known as "The Rocket" joins the ranks of notable individuals who have be...

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Spinal Breakthrough Helps GOP

Funny story: Spinal Breakthrough Helps GOP

House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) will be going through an experimental surgery next week. The procedure, developed by Dr. Spina Bifida, will implant a cybernetic spine into the Speaker of The House. The procedure is expected to last 5 hours and w...

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Kirstie Alley Kisses Her Diet Bye-Bye As She Balloons Up To 230 Pounds

Funny story: Kirstie Alley Kisses Her Diet Bye-Bye As She Balloons Up To 230 Pounds

LOS ANGELES - Kirstie Alley was recently spotted at a Tall Timbers Supermarket in Encino with a grocery cart hooked on to a second grocery cart. According to an employee of the food giant, Ms. Alley had loaded the first shopping cart with items su...

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Obama Administration Introduces the NOFAT Program

Funny story: Obama Administration Introduces the NOFAT Program

Washington DC: White House Press Secretary Carney announced a new Obama administration initiative to reduce obesity in the USA in the next four years via the No Obese Fat American Taxpayer (NOFAT) Program. President Obama got the idea for the NO...

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