US Surrenders Manhattan to Indians after Failing to Make Treaty Payment
The United States failed to make a payment of a piece of cloth and a beaver skin to The Seneca Nation and now must turn over Manhattan Island to the tribe. "At first we thought it was just a clerical error," said a spokesman from the Department of...
Read full storyIKEA to build aircraft carriers for Navy
The Ministry of Defence today announced that IKEA had won the contract, to provide the Navy's next generation of economy wooden aircraft carriers. The idea of using the chipboard warships has angered many traditionalists within the armed forces, but...
Read full storyObituary - Harry Postlethwaite. The Bard of Saddleworth
Harry Postlethwaite July 2nd 1923 - July 30th 2012. The death has occurred of one of the area's least talented poets. Harry Postlethwaite worked for most of his life as a milkman in and around Saddleworth. Between his milk deliveries he would compose poetry, most of which he discarded as rubbish, and published only a few poems a year, which most of the public classed as rubbish. Harry's pro...
Read full storyCondoleezza Rice Related to E.T.
A background check conducted by the Romney Campaign, which is considering selecting Condoleeza Rice as Romney's Vice President running mate, has revealed that Rice is related to E.T. the Extraterrestial from the popular 1982 Steven Speilberg science...
Read full storyThe US Condemns Atrocities in Syria
Hillary Clinton has condemned the atrocities in Syria. David Cameron, Prime Minister of the UK, has released a statement condemning the atrocities in Syria. Rupert Murdoch says he must network with his associates and Masonic brothers before printing...
Read full storyHate a homo…eat a dead animal!
When Dan Cathy, President and Owner of Chick a fill made his anti-gay remarks this year, he never dreamed what a boon it would be to his business. Now, other fast food chains are vying to join the action. The Associated Press is reporting McDonalds h...
Read full storyMartin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Two
Day two: Day two got lost somehow. So this is really day three part one. Day three part two will appear at some point today, providing day three isn't quite as hectic as day two. Deep joy on day two with the discovery of a shop that sells pies. Things were looking up. Then things looked up even more with the discovery of a chip shop that sells fish and chips, pies, mushy peas and gravy too!...
Read full storyShowing support at the Olympics? There's an app for that
In order to show support at the Olympics, it's been necessary to buy a flag for each country supported, but no longer. Lancashire applelet design company, App-N, have launched the iFlag. "I couldn't get tickets for the Olympics," said App World! e...
Read full storyFarcebook furor as 87% of users branded 'bogus' - report
Cyberspace - Trolls, grudge peddlers and cyber bottom-feeders chucked out from rival sites make up the numbers according to a report published today. Analysis of the social netjerking site's 666 million users shows 87% are 'fakes' created ahead of...
Read full storyWhistleblowers and Blowhards Roam the Red Sox Dugout
There's still a snitch in the Red Sox dugout. After someone blew the whistle on the Boston pitchers who drank beer and ate fried chicken in the clubhouse, brouhaha ensued to bring in a tough new manager. Bobby Valentine answered the call, but...
Read full storyMPs sickened by Vertigo
A British poll that resulted in Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo being named as the greatest film of all time has caused outrage in the British parliament. Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt agreed to demands yesterday from furious MPs for a judicial inq...
Read full storyMooning teenager falls through roof of bus stop
17-year old Frank Spencer was mooning and jumping up and down on a bus stop roof last night when it gave way and he fell through. 20 stone compulsive eater Fanny Whale was waiting in the shelter at the time. Frank's friend Jack Ladd who was filmi...
Read full storyRomney refuses to announce running mate until after election!
In a move unprecedented in US history and possibly illegal, Mitt Romney announced at a press conference this morning that he would not announce his running mate until after the election in November. As the press corps reacted in stunned amazement, on...
Read full storyBon Appéti
Once I was taught a good hypothesis was that which could be properly tested. In the past, critical thinking was the essence of a well-developed dissertation. While browsing, I, incidentally, ran into the following title: 'Dissertation Acceptance Certificate' by a very prestigious school. The Ph. D. candidate said his 'research was funded in part by summer grants'. The researcher claimed to hav...
Read full storyPrime Minister's Question Time gets silly
New rules are to be introduced to prevent a recurrence of the last Prime Minister's Question Time fiasco. "I think we must be in silly season," said John Bercow, the Speaker in the House of Commons. "Some of the questions that were asked were just...
Read full storyRomney Says He Has Secret Plan to Win War on "Unemployment , Bad Things and Whatnot "
Calling it his "Happy Plan for America", Mitt Romney told casino goers at Donald Trump's Casino Royale in Geneva, Switzerland today that if elected he would announce his plan "to put every American adult to work in a job that pays a minimum of $250,0...
Read full storyLady Gaga Denies She's Changing Music Genres
LOS ANGELES - Lady Gaga flew out to the Left Coast to have dinner at one of her favorite all-time eateries, The La Brea Tar Pits Diner. Ever since Lady Ga first patronized the eating establishment five years ago she has made it a point to visit th...
Read full storyFlash Mob Teens Met By Flash Mob Police Dogs
HACKENSACK, New Jersey - A group of about 20 teenagers who went into Stefano Silvestri's Shirt Shop got the surprise of their young lives. The teens thought that they could just barge in and help themselves to whatever shirts they wanted free of c...
Read full storyKelly Clarkson and Toby Keith Both Turn Down American Idol
LOS ANGELES - Mariah Carey has recently signed a $17 million contract to take Jennifer Lopez's judge's place on American Idol. Word out of Tinsel Town is that the very first American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson was offered to be an AI judge as well...
Read full storyFootball Gossip & comments 2nd August 2012
Olympics Mens Football: GB beat Uruguay to reach quarters The team captained by Luis Suarez will now be known as UruGoingHome. Olympics Womens Football: GB beat Brazil at Wembley. The ladies showed they are as equal if not better than the men, Mainly by missing a penalty which would put them 2-0 up. The match was watched by 75,000, an incredible figure for womens football. Although hal...
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