Written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 2 August 2012

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image for Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Two
Anyone fancy a pint?

Day two: Day two got lost somehow. So this is really day three part one. Day three part two will appear at some point today, providing day three isn't quite as hectic as day two.

Deep joy on day two with the discovery of a shop that sells pies. Things were looking up.

Then things looked up even more with the discovery of a chip shop that sells fish and chips, pies, mushy peas and gravy too!

Paradise!

Shuttlecock immediately despatched an email to Yorkshire 'Chips N Gravy' campaigner, Ken Mither, who was delighted that the Catalan capital has finally caught on to the culinary magic which is pies, fish, mushy peas, chips and gravy.

"That's reet champion!" Mither responded. "A vast improvement on bacalau, botifarra, and all that bollocks!"

"Absolutely," Shuttlecock agreed.

Then the Shuttlecock clan hit the streets, with Shuttlecock and long suffering wife Anne paying a nostalgic visit to the legendary Cafe De L'Opera in Las Ramblas.

"It's nice here isn't it?" Anne remarked.

"Yes it is," Shuttlecock replied.

Eventually, the gang shuffled off - or, more accurately, wobbled off - through the dark, menacing streets of El Raval for a kebab supper, back to the apartment they rented for the week.

Shuttlecock then went for a kip and didn't wake up until half way through day three.

He is currently indisposed, and waiting to go to Antoni Gaudi's masterpiece, La Sagrada Familia, while his granddaughters drive him fucking mad with their incessant chatter, and generally being a right pain in the fucking arse.

This article was ghost written.

Shuttlecock may face charges later - for throwing grandkids off a high balcony to an extremely gruesome demise.

Other than that, he is reported to be okay.

Apart from cabin fever.

And homicidal urges...

More as he gets it.

At about three am.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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