Whistleblowers and Blowhards Roam the Red Sox Dugout

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Thursday, 2 August 2012

There's still a snitch in the Red Sox dugout.

After someone blew the whistle on the Boston pitchers who drank beer and ate fried chicken in the clubhouse, brouhaha ensued to bring in a tough new manager.

Bobby Valentine answered the call, but this week someone heard the manager use sarcasm at third baseman Will Middlebrooks as he came off the field after making two errors.

Valentine did not use some form of colorful profanity. No, he said, "Nice inning, Will."

These slings and arrows drove some unknown Red Sox tattletale to run to Red Sox ownership (according to Bobby Valentine himself). In turn, someone in the front office snidely commented to the manager about hurting the feelings of their rookies.

Motivation comes in many forms, but there is a myriad of manners to accomplish the goal. Harsh words may be worse than sticks and stones if you play for the Red Sox.

If all this proves any point, it is that there are crybabies in baseball. It may also go a long way to proving that wordsmiths and humorists should not apply for managerial positions.

Reaction to metaphor, digs, and silent body language may rise from molehill to mountain overnight.

We are not sure if the diva in the dugout is Middlebrooks himself or some other defender of the helpless and insufficient starting lineup.

Throw in the ever-vigilant media of Boston, and you have a mix that makes you look like a rookie at the local mixology school.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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