The White House Papers
The New York Times recently received the transcript of the latest cabinet meeting at the White House. The Times released the following excerpts of the meeting. President Obama: First I want to open this meeting by thanking Secretary Panetta for killing Awlaki and that other guy. Leon, job well done! (Round of applause from around the table) Secretary Panetta: Thank you, Mr. President.
Read full storyDutch trains get "pee bags" instead of tea bags!
The Dutch always at the forefront of innovation (especially if you enjoy a joint or two) are to introduce "pee bags" and discard tea bags on all of their train services during the winter period. The reason for this very innovative idea is that Dut...
Read full storyA Day In The Life Of A Spoof Writer
Call them failed journalists, failed authors or even failed spoof writers - just call them. A spoof writer's life is short but exciting, but these are after all the makers of dreams. That is, if you dream of badly written newspaper articles about things that didn't really happen. A typical spoof writer will begin his or her day at around midday. After a short glass of mother's ruin, he will gat...
Read full storyMcChrystal: U.S. had simplistic view of Afghanistan, should've kicked ass like Genghis Khan did
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Retired general Stanley McChrystal, who led the Obama administration's "surge" strategy in 2009, shared with the Council on Foreign Relations a harsh truth that sounded like an old song: America don't know much about history. "We...
Read full storyHorse Found in the Thames Shock
The winner of the 2.30 at Sandown Park went celebrating after his victory, upending his jockey and galloping off towards the River Thames for a much needed drink. He was found by a pensioner wandering near the river who contacted the Police: 'Ther...
Read full storyA Heartbroken Jessica Simpson Asks "Am I A Damn Doormat Or What?" As Her Fiancé Cancels Their Wedding Plans
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - A very pregnant Jessica Simpson and her fiancé Eric Johnson cannot hide the fact that there is trouble, lots of trouble in paradise. Simpson, who is with child, a real baby, not Eric, told a close friend that Eric has cancelled t...
Read full storySteve Jobs died bankrupt - reports
Cupertino, California - The mystery backers who bankrolled Steve Jobs owned all the patents behind the company that now sees his posthumous wealth valued at $7 billion. Papers filed before a California court detail the parent company ownership tha...
Read full storyArsenal's Ramsey Says It's Easier To Play For Wales Than The Gunners
Young Welsh skipper Aaron Ramsey reckons he finds it easier to play for his country than the misfiring Gunners. The 20-year-old midfielder has become a regular for the north Londoners again after recovering from a badly broken leg. But as the W...
Read full storyMet Police delighted with new space hoppers
Moves to improve the mobility of Metropolitan police officers on the beat and to reduce response times to reported crimes are proving highly effective, the chief constable announced today. A think-tank last year advocated a raft of new measures t...
Read full storyAngry Customer Sues Barber after Haircut Goes Wrong
An extremely annoyed customer has sued his barber after his head was completely shaved. Bob Russell, of Portsmouth NH says he did not ask for his head to be shaved. The barber could also face criminal charges of assault. Russell, 65, explained...
Read full storyLife after the shift - a message from the near future.
The Shift affected the previous citizens of the United States of America the most, as they all became stateless when the United States became disunited. A few relics of their previous culture stand out like sore thumbs all over the world, but these Embassy and Consular buildings have been modified into holiday camps and are now major tourist attractions, much like Auschwitz. The remaining fe...
Read full storyYour kids want a phone? There's an app for that
It seems that children want a phone at an ever younger age these days. Parents are concerned about letting their kids have a mobile phone though, and this is where iNanny comes in. This app is produced by Apple and integrates seemlessly into the i...
Read full storyUniversity Challenge Reviews Blackout Ends After Chiswick Talks Brokered By Top Academic
Controversial historian Ken Lucid was at the centre of high-powered talks that will see reviews of University Challenge return to influential news site TheSpoof from next week. The popular TV quiz show was reviewed every week during its 2010/11 se...
Read full storyThe NBA Lockout Causes The Reality Show 'Basketball Wives' To Be Put On Hold
MIAMI - There is a group of ladies who are literally fit to be tied. The gals are stars of the reality TV show Basketball Wives which follows the day-to-day dalliances of the ex-wives and ex-girlfriends of some NBA basketball players. Shaunie O'Ne...
Read full storyBig Time Drama Hits The Ashton Kutcher-Demi Moore Marriage
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The hills are alive with the sound of shouting. Neighbors of one of the most popular May-December married couples in Tinsel Town, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, reported hearing some sounds that broke the serenity of the land of the...
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