One of the most deadliest, vicious, wicked, evil sharks on the planet has decided to give the UK a visit. The shark called the Oceanic White Tip Shark, was spotted by drunken fishermen having a good old piss-up during a fishing cruise a mile off of the coast of Cornwall.
Fishers claimed that the wicked sharks love to devour humans, especially obese, overweight Brits paddling on the beach or sitting in their rubber ducks. They reportedly rammed fishing boats in order to catch their prey!
A shark specialist has confirmed the fact that a certain species of shark has been spotted, but cannot confirm whether this most evil of shark was the predator that was spotted. This was because the fishermen were either out of their brains or sea-sick, and too busy vomiting.
A warning has been given to all British tourists, especially obese ones, not to venture out to seas because this particular species loves fatties.
Steven Spielberg was also spotted on the beach with a film crew and several bum actors hoping to film Jaws 75 with real sharks. He has promised that Jaws 75 will be the most realistic yet.
Let's hope the sharks play ball!