Britain's Truck Drivers Bid for Fair Play
Britain's many, many HGV drivers have today made a heartfelt appeal to the public to end the constant discrimination against their profession. "It's not on", said Steve Bloke, a member of pro-haulage organization, The Wagons Are The Solution, "peo...
Read full storyLucian Freud's dealer says he's dead
London - Described variously as Lucian Fraud's dealer and/or weed man Mr William Acquavella said today the great artist had died. Speaking to reporters from the Emin Evening Argos the New Yorker confirmed Fraud had died at home in his sleep yester...
Read full storyIn Order to Alleviate Major US Heat Wave, Obama to Borrow Money from China so US can pay them to make Wind Farms
As a major heat wave continues to engulf half of the continental United States and is predicted to last into August, US President Barack Obama, in a bid to end it, has proposed having wind farms placed throughout the southern half of the heat belt in...
Read full story"Bunga-Bunga!" Italy's Fiat Takes Control of Chrysler Screwing Taxpayers for $1.3B!
Calling it a 'major accomplishment" an Obama Treasury Department official hailed today's sale of the remaining shares of Chrysler to Italy's Fiat despite the fact the taxpaying public were shorted over $1.3 Billion in TARP money wasted on the margin...
Read full storyLocal Miami Man Proposes Abolition of Chairs
The days of sitting down after a long day may soon be over. In response to a CNN report claiming that sitting for hours can shave years off lives, a residence-challenged man in Miami is calling for the abolition of chairs. "They're a hateful contr...
Read full storyIs It The End of The World Or Just Media Hype?
When a major Los Angeles freeway was scheduled to be closed for an entire weekend the media labeled the event, "car-mageddon". As in, the end of the world … for L.A. drivers. As usual, the end of the world, at least in L.A., as hyped by the media, did not occur. What would media reporting be for the end of the world scenarios in other daily life situations? How about Armageddon related news re...
Read full storyBetter to Die than Be Fired?
A recent USA Today analysis claiming that federal employees are more likely to die than they are to get fired or laid off has caused an outrage among a certain portion of the American public. The article-published in the July 19th edition of the n...
Read full storyJa Rule a Revolutionary?
Jeffrey Atkins-commonly known as JA Rule, the Queens-based rapper with four platinum records under his belt and an album to be released this coming August-may be finding new ways to put his mark on the hip-hop industry. Atkins was sentenced Monday...
Read full storyWest Ham ready for new season
Just when people were writing off West Ham as the football team of the future a few fans have got together in a bubble bath to try and prepare for the new season in the Championship. 'We are ready for a few goals - by us this time' one declared. '...
Read full storyCameron Was A Peeping Tom
David Cameron's decision to appoint Andy Coulson as his communications director, is a little easier to understand following the emergence of certain disclosures. They both enjoyed spying on people. Whereas Coulson liked to eavesdrop on people's p...
Read full storyBernie Ecclestone and Rupert Murdoch to sort out Africa
Billionaire pensioners Rupert Murdoch and Bernie Ecclestone have teamed up in a joint initiative to help ease the growing crisis in Africa. Global media baron Rupert Murdoch, who is expected to pick up the multi-million-pound tab for compensating...
Read full storyShuttle Atlantis Lands For Last Time...Sent Back Up Again!
Space Shuttle Atlantis touched down safely after its final mission this morning - only to be turned around and sent back into space again! The touchdown at Kennedy Space Centre in Florida was supposed to have been the last act in the 30-year space...
Read full storyWanted: New UK Rough Trade & Investment Envoy
London - A job ads noticeboard at a Soho newsagents window is advertising the position following an unexpected vacancy. The For Sale & Wanted ad directs applicants to the mobile phone number of a Wapping recruitment agency. And specifies th...
Read full storySophia Vergara, Pam Anderson, Free Boxes of Tissues Featured at Comic-Con
It's time once again for the annual throng of unemployed teenagers, underemployed thirty somethings, and over forty unmarried geeks to don their favorite super hero costumes and celebrate all things related to comic books and fantasy adventure movies...
Read full storyNational Weather Service Issues Idiot Warning for Most of U.S.
Tracking temperatures well into the 90's across the United States, with some regions topping 100 degrees Fahrenheit, the National Weather Service has decided to escalate their normal advisory up to an "Idiot Warning" for the next two days. Advis...
Read full storyLenny Henry to star in 'Fawlty Towers' remake
Top British comedian Lenny Henry, whose professional name was taken from the Christian first names of both his blood fathers, is to star in a BBC1 remake of the classic 1970's sitcom 'Fawlty Towers' which had veteran comedy superstar John Cleese play...
Read full storyTelegraph Comes out Against Cameron
The august right wing newspaper the Daily Telegraph has come out criticising the Prime Minister David Cameron for inappropriate behaviour in allowing Andy Coulson into his bedchamber. 'Although we are sure Cameron is normal' the Telegraph stated '...
Read full storyBill Gates sets out to invent toilets, the Internet and the wheel
The man who claims to have reinvented computers, invented disco, taught Michael Jackson the Moonwalk and made TP a household item in most wealthy nations, Microsoft tycoon/tyrant/liar turned quasi-philanthropist, Bill Gates, is now focusing his atten...
Read full storyFacenook to offer certified anonymous identification cards
Menlo Park, CA - Facenook and Google issued a joint press release today, announcing a new program. Dubbed "AnonID", they will begin offering a service which verifies anonymity. They will collect data-which will be held in the strictest confidence-for...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Admit That Their Sexting Has Made Their Relationship Stronger
HOLLYWOOD - The stars of the new movie The Vampire Diaries - The Erotically Titillating Movie Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder took a break from shooting the movie and spoke with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight. Dobrev told de Gallo that the...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez Crash A Malibu Beach Wedding Reception
MALIBU BEACH - One second the wedding party is having a great time and the groom is singing Karaoke to a Justin Bieber song and then all of a sudden from out of nowhere in walks Justin Bieber and the place erupts into civilized pandemonium. Yes on...
Read full storyThe Silhouettes Move On To The America's Got Talent Semi-Finals
HOLLYWOOD - A group of 42 young performers who perform behind a white screen and do various silhouettes of things Americana have been chosen by the American voters to move on to the America's Got Talent Semi-Finals. The group which hails from the...
Read full storyBlade Runner Qualifies for London 2012
Oscar Pistorius, the Blade Runner, has run a fast enough qualifying time for the London 2012 games after a performance of 45.07 seconds for the 400 metres. However, doubts have been cast over the South African's true identity. After much unashamed...
Read full storyDesperate Tiger Woods on Craigslist Seeks New Caddy: 'Ability to Tote My Bags & Wash My Balls a Plus!"
Tiger Woods announced today he had severed a 12 year relationship with New Zealand Caddy Stevie Williams who had been with him for 72 Tournament wins including 13 majors! The injured Woods, nursing a sore joint after 4 knee operations, the loss of...
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