Chinese Baby Food Recalled -- Made From Real Babies!
Springfield PA-- The Food and Drugged Administration quickly put in a recall today on baby food made in China. The food is sold under the brand name Yummy Baby. It was found to be manufactured from ground up Chinese babies and considered unfit for hu...
Read full storyGood Moose Hunting
Sarah Palin, Vice President of the future has asked the Oscar winning screenwriters Matt Damon and Ben Affleck to write a hit block-busting film for her. The film, provisionally titled 'Good Moose Hunting' will feature Palin, comedy legend Billy C...
Read full storySarah Palin Vice Investigation
Presidential running mate Sarah Palin has until Wednesday to decide which Vice she will be President of, it has been revealed. Top secret talks held at the Watergate Hotel have shown that Palin, the self described Pit-bull with Lipstick has yet to...
Read full storyPaul McCartney and Sarah Palin Make Beautiful Music Together
News has reached us that Paul McCartney is to re-record his worst song, The Frog Chorus with Sarah Palin. The mulit-talented Musician and Songwriter, McCartney, famed for his work with a band in the 1960's told us: 'Yes, it is true. I felt it was...
Read full storyKnight style combat to end party tussle
It was revealed today that the Labour Party are preparing to announce the leadership battle that has long been anticipated. David Milliband and Gordon Brown will participate in jousting, crossbow target shooting and broad sword fighting to decide...
Read full storyXL passengers left in suspension
Passengers were left stranded today at 30,000 feet over the Atlantic ocean today following the collapse of XL Holidays. A flight containing 170 passengers was on it's way back to Gatwick from Tenerife when the flight had to be suspended in mid air...
Read full storyStartling scientific discovery in LHC experiment revealed
Professor Hugh Jarse could hardly contain himself today when he revealed the surprising results from the LHC test firing on Wednesday. "We have discovered quite by accident that a portal in the space time continuum that was created by the experime...
Read full storyStunt plane crash costs hundreds of lives
Emergency services were today stretched to the limit following a crash involving one of two stunt planes over Shropshire. Visitors to the Shropshire summer festival and airshow were shocked when one of two bi-planes crashed in a nearby cemetery.
Read full storyDid Sarah Palin Shoot a Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Did Sarah Palin shoot a certain red-nosed reindeer? Is this causing Christmas to be cancelled due to Santa being unable to guide his sleigh and being broken up at the killing of his beloved differently-abled pet? Rumors swirl that the reindeer was...
Read full storyHeather Mills sues paralympics for not placing her in the final
Even before the end of the Beijing paralympics, Heather Mills has been fired! The former model and ex-wife of Sir Paul McCartney, was let go by the paralympic bosses due to a ridiculous clause she was demanding to be in her contract. Heather was a...
Read full storyCERN computers hacked by disciples of Prometheus
Athens, Greece - Apparently angry that man has mastered fire to the point of recreating the Big Bang, Prometheus, known as the father of mankind in Greek mythology for giving man the gift of fire, ordered a crew of Greek computer hackers to break int...
Read full storyMatt Damon backs Matt Damon for President
"Matt Damon is voting for Matt Damon because Matt Damon knows who Matt Damon is." With those words, actor Matt Damon launched his presidential campaign. Damon, considered by many to be not only the world's finest actor, but also its greatest polit...
Read full storyKaty Perry honoured by the gay community
The female pop star responsible for "I kissed a girl and I liked it" has been chosen to receive the next Vanguard award for her contribution to promoting equal rights for the LGBT community. Katy Perry reached the number one spot with her single a...
Read full storyCERN LHC particle accelerator created a time warp! Welcome to Groundhog Day!
Cambridge, Massachusetts - Like Yogi Berra once said, "It's Déjà vu all over again." If you woke up this morning with a sinking feeling deep down in your gut that everything you have done today seems strangely familiar, like you have already done it...
Read full storyNew Dirt In World's Longest Political Race
The 2008 Presidential campaign droned on today with more, yes more, shocking personal revelations and allegations. The Longest Presidential Election Ever, which began sometime in the early 21st century, is also The Most Annoying Presidential Campaig...
Read full storyHollywood A-List for Chavez Aptly Named!
Hollywood/Rolling Stone Magazine - Deemed "Beyond Belief", the continued support of Narco Terrorist President Hugo Chavez by Hollywood Elitists confounds "rational thinking", according to a recent poll taken in Middle America. Recently released an...
Read full storyBlogger without superiority complex publishes book
The Guardian noted Rob Bloggs, a construction worker and author of an online blog, as the only blogger in the world without an inflated ego and as a consequence, he has landed a book deal. Bloggs honestly believes that his thoughts and opinions ar...
Read full storyDisappointment as CERN Hurricane Fails To Destroy Texas
Scientists and politicians are disappointed today as the CERN Large Hadron Collider fails to create enough global warming and hurricanes to rid the globalists of the reality and truth seekers capital of Texas. 'Apparently, Alex Jones is still aliv...
Read full storyTorture Victims Awarded Olympic Medals
Yesterday, the Olympics people, in an apparent nose-thumbing gesture to China, unanimously decided to award Olympic medals to political detainees who were jailed and allegedly tortured when they attempted to apply for a political protest permit durin...
Read full storySchoolgirl's Snatch Thatch Bears Face of Christ
Chantelle Slutrunt, a seventeen year old Smegmadale schoolgirl studying for her A levels in Shoplifting and Knife Fighting at the town's Asbo Central Education Trust, has set the Christian and Judaic religious worlds afire after her younger brother W...
Read full storySupermarket sponsors cell biology degree to safegaurd shoppers
A national supermarket is sponsoring a new degree in cell biology. Based on the the fact that all food products must by law have a sell by-date for sellers not to keep to, the supermarket is keen to employ graduates with an 'ology' in 'sell-by'.
Read full storyJulia Roberts is gay for Paris Hilton
'Charlie Wilson's War' actress Julia Roberts has confessed to converting to a lesbian for socialite Paris Hilton. An insider has reported that Roberts, 40, gushed repeatedly,"She's young, she's blonde, and I can imagine her naked". Hilton, 27,...
Read full storyKevin Keegan Back At Work At Newcastle United
The Messiah has risen again! Just 8 days after tendering his resignation as manager of Newcastle United, Kevin Keegan is back in gainful employment at St James' Park this morning - as the guy who sells burgers outside the ground! Keegan, 57, resig...
Read full storyHurricane Ike pounds the Gulf Coast hard says witness
Galveston, TX - Hurricane Ike pounded the Gulf Coast hard stated the only witness who stayed behind to see the incident. Tom Peepers, who works at the Galveston Pussy Cat Adult Theater said he saw the whole thing as he walked around the ruins of Hurr...
Read full story"US Supported Georgian Terrorist Attack on South Ossetia," Presidential figurine Medvedev
Russian Presidential figurine Medvedev told the world that the US supported Georgia in a 9-11 type terrorist attack on South Ossetia. Russian tsarommissar Putin told Medvedev to eat plenty of vegetables, brush his teeth after every meal and kneel dow...
Read full storyInnumerable Carbon Permits Permit Worst British Polluters a Free Pass to Pollute and Not Give a Hoot!
Castle Cement's Ribblesdale works in Clitheroe, Lancashire has been found to create one of the most beautiful sunsets in all of the Britain upon whose once great empire the sun reputedly never set. The bad news is that the glowing orange-red evening...
Read full storyAshley Fails to bring Kevin "Hot Coals" Keegan Back to Newcastle!
Ashley called, reportedly in the middle of the night, "Hot Coals" Keegan and tried in vain to rekindle the flame of their Newcastle once steamy affair. At one time the couple was inseparable as shown in romantic photos at the racetrack and more priva...
Read full storyBarack Obama's grandmother moves into shanty with Barack's brother for safety
Huruma, Kenya - The 86 year old granny of Barack Obama reported to newspapers that Wednesday robbers broke into her modest home to steal her solar panels. She was quoted as saying that she now fears for her safety. The burglars broke down the oct...
Read full storyVlad the Impaler Putin Delivers Graphic Tirade of Bodily Fluid Inspired Imagery Against Western Leaders!
Russia's 21 century Tsarommisar Vladimir Putin has been infamous for his rough language and gross imagery. Even for Putin his recent angerfest at western nations was remarkable in its rich use of scatological, nasal and genital metaphor and simile.
Read full storyPalin's Abusive Wild Animal Record: Aerial Hunting?
According to the Wildlife International Members and Protectors Fund (WIMPF) of the "Wild Animals Can't be Killed Ollie" Society (WACKOS) their new television ad about Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin and her meany record on aerial hunting of w...
Read full storyCharlie Gibson Calls Sarah Palin a Republicunt!
It started with frustration in the famous nice guy interviewer's voice. Then a kind of nervous toe tapping that resembled the Larry Craig Morse Code Bathroom Waltz. On to questions asked over and over again after vague and redundant non-answers.
Read full storyJohn McCain Volunteers to Undergo Waterboarding
John McCain, who had been tortured while he was a prisoner of War, in Viet Nam, has long made opposition to Torture one of his signature issues. Now he has equivocated, and become a supporter of George Bush's policy of waterboarding and the torture -...
Read full storyObama Opposes Surge in the Polls for McCain & Palin: Says "All Surges are bad for the Democratic Party!"
Washington DC: On Friday 12 September 2008 at exactly 3pm (eastern standard time) Barack Obama announced in a press conference at the Washington democratic headquarters that, "he would oppose any surge in the polls supporting Republican Presidential...
Read full storyObama Campaign Plans Tough Attack on McCain
A source inside the Barack Obama presidential campaign indicated today that the Democratic candidate intends to strike back forcefully to counter the surge in popularity which Republican opponent John McCain has enjoyed since his selection of Alaska...
Read full storyMcCain campaign in panic over alleged Sarah Palin sextape
HOLLYWOOD - Some homeless guy is claiming to be in possession of a sextape featuring vice president hopeful, Sarah Palin. 'The tape features candid moments of the current Alaskan Governor with a boyfriend from college in an all out uncensored nigh...
Read full storyOBAMA, 80% Popularity in France: Is Toxoplasma the Reason?
The Obama popularity phenomenon in France has raised the eyebrows of some of the world's top research scientists! The statistics cannot be ignored - this is fact. Half of us, scientists say, carry the parasitic protozoa Toxoplasma gondii. And onc...
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