OBAMA, 80% Popularity in France: Is Toxoplasma the Reason?

Funny story written by Gulo_Gulo

Saturday, 13 September 2008

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Scientists say parasitic microbe could choose our next President

The Obama popularity phenomenon in France has raised the eyebrows of some of the world's top research scientists! The statistics cannot be ignored - this is fact.

Half of us, scientists say, carry the parasitic protozoa Toxoplasma gondii. And once we have toxoplasma in our bodies, we carry it for life.

The rate of infection can vary wildly from country to country-only three percent of South Koreans have or are infected by toxoplasma, while as many as 80 percent of French people are carriers. The Centers for Disease Control says that areas where people prefer undercooked meat, like France, or have stray cats running around, like Central America, are rife for infection.

Though the parasite's main host is the cat, it can live in thousands of warm-blooded species (and we're on the list).

Toxoplasmosis, researchers have found, might make people more likely to be schizophrenic, and can change personality in subtle ways (this may explain the irrational popularity of socialist Obama). One researcher found that infected men were more aggressive and jealous, women were more outgoing, and perhaps most seriously, both had slower reaction times and were in more traffic accidents.

Tests will be conducted to determine if all Obama supporters are truly infected with Toxoplasma gondii., however results, time and location will not be revealed until after the elections as researchers are worried that if the theory is proven correct, Democrat operatives looking for a secret weapon against Sarah Palin and the evangelical "right" will infect uninfected populations in the US in hopes of affecting the election results in November, and the foreseeable future since there is no known cure for Toxoplasma gondii! The Centers for Disease Control in a scheduled release will be advising pet owners in the USA to keep their pet cats indoors and away from known Democratic operatives.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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