The Barack Obama Family's 'First Puppy'
CHICAGO, Illinois - President-elect Barack Obama has told reporters that his new Secretary of State Oprah Winfrey has just bought a puppy for his daughters Malia and Sasha. Ms. Winfrey bought the 'First Kiddoes-elect' a cute little female Yorkshir...
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Gives Birth to Baby Boy!
Queen Elizabeth has stunned the world by giving birth to a healthy baby boy. Buckingham Palace made the shock announcement in front of an excited media contingent earlier this morning. The 82 year old monarch is said to be 'Enormously proud' of...
Read full storySarah Palin's List of Ten Things To Do
WASILLA, Alaska - Now that Governor Sarah Palin is back in her home state of Alaska she was asked to list the ten things that she is really looking forward to doing. Governor Palin said that she wants everyone to know how much she appreciates thei...
Read full storyQuentin Tarantino To Write EastEnders Episode
Hollywood director Quentin Tarantino, the creator of classic cult films such as Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs and Kill Bill, is to turn his hand to a project more subtle and nuanced - he is to direct the Christmas episode of the BBC1 soap EastEnders.
Read full storyDrogba Coining It
Didier Drogba was charged today by the police with criminal damage following the partial demolition of Stamford Bridge, when the Chelsea striker threw his wallet into the stand causing £1m worth of damage. The act of throwing the wallet caused Dro...
Read full storyWorld financial meltdown crisis: God is punishing 'dark lands overrun by homosexuals' says Rev Pat Robertson
Scotland - (Holy Ass Mess): Ex-HBOS deputy CEO Sir Peter Burt spoke today about how former wannabe business partner Rev Pat Robertson warned him about the Almighty's wrath 'on those dark lands overrun by homosexuals'. "At the time he was referring...
Read full storyCongress Passes $870 Billion Bailout Plan For Exxon-Mobile, Others
WASHINGTON, DC - President Bush announced during a press conference this morning that Congress has approved a $870 billion bailout plan for major oil companies. Over the past six weeks, the cost of oil has plummeted to nearly a third of its record hi...
Read full storyLarge Hardon Collider Discovers Biggs Hoson
Swedish scientists working on the LHC (Large Hardon Collider) in Geneva believe that they have today discovered the 'big one' thought to be one of the key components of blue matter. Black Hole The existence of the Biggs Hoson has long since bee...
Read full storyCruise buys rights to Scientology, tells L. Ron "Hit The Road!"
Los Angeles, CA - Academy-award winning actor and renowned Scientologist, Tom Cruise, announced through his publicist that he has officially purchased the publishing rights to the L. Ron Hubbard series of fantasy novels, which are the basis of the re...
Read full storyBarack Obama's success putting pressure on All African-American men to be like him
Washington, D,C. - As the cheers and adulation have quieted down in the days and weeks following the historical election of Barack Obama, America's first Black president-elect, a harsh cold reality sets into African-American communities everywhere, h...
Read full storyMcCain Tells Why He Picked Palin
PHOENIX -- Defeated Republican Presidential candidate John McCain today finally explained his true reason for picking Sarah Palin as his vice presidential running mate. "Hey, I just thought she was really hot," McCain confessed over a beer by the...
Read full storyZac Efron Sticks his hand in Vanessa Hudgens' Ass
High School Musical actor Zac Efron has got himself in a whole new bunch of trouble after he shoved his hand the whole way up into co-star Vanessa Hudgen's ass. Her pet donkey, that is! Efron has been pestering the poor creature since he first...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Hates Men
Quick to respond to a recent news report over her lyrical content bashing former boyfriends, hot new teenage songstress Taylor Swift, is denying assertions that she hates men. Though her previously released hits include clear references to form...
Read full story"I don't want your faggoty PC-lovin' money," claims US rapper Tricky Trick
A rapper who is better known for his extremely large vocabulary of swear words than any musical talent has warned potential purchasers that his new album contains extreme homophobic lyrics, nasty and lewd remarks, references to women as 'b*tches' and...
Read full storyEnglish Team's Morris Dance Plans Exposed
A secret plan by the England rugby team to perform a Morris dance in full regalia following the All Blacks Haka has been exposed. All Blacks 'spies' spotted the England 15 secretly rehearsing the routine at a derelict warehouse near Twickenham.
Read full storyJanet Jackson's Ass Explodes; Scores Injured
After weeks of cancelled shows, Janet Jackson's Rock Witchu tour has been closed indefinitely by the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, pending an investigation into an accident that occurred Wednesday. Authorities in Dallas report t...
Read full storyEgyptian antiquities professor blasts pyramid scheme
Valley of the Kings - (Sarcophagus Mess): A world famous Egyptologist has slammed the latest pyramid scheme to raise archaeological funds by selling off bits of the Sphinx. Dr V Smart, Cuneiform Professor of Embalming Fluid Studies at Cairo's Arak...
Read full storyGordon Brown To Do Panto Season at Old Vic
Downing Street has announced that Prime Minister Gordon Brown is to appear as Widow Twanky in this years production of Aladdin at London's Old Vic Theatre. Government sources say the move is designed to counteract the general public's impression t...
Read full story"All One Wants For One's 60th Birthday Is For The Old Girl To Croak!"
Clarence House - (Pont d'Alma Tunnel Mess): Prince Charles has told Hellfire Club grandees that there is only one birthday present that he really, really wants for 'his' 60th tomorrow: "About time the old girl croaked!" the Pretender cackled misch...
Read full storySpoof Editorial: Why Doesn't Someone Buy Me a Gift?
A few years ago, I wiped up some orange soda spilled by someone else who didn't notice what he did (at least that's how he made it look!). I don't remember getting a thank you for that, but I didn't let it bother me. I help when I'm needed. That's what I do, that's who I am. Last week I gave someone a band aid I had in my desk drawer after he cut his hand on one of our file cabinets. The ed...
Read full storyMexicans patent the art of tequila diamonds
Tijuana - (Ass Mess): Scientists at Mexico's fabled Chupacabras University have patented the process by which the country's favorite daily tipple is transformed into precious stones. They discovered that heating the vapor from tequila blanco onto...
Read full storyFierce UFO dogfight grounds Pope's choppers
Rome - (Holy Shit! Mess): A fleet of Vatican helicopters ferrying Pope Joe 'The Plumber' Ratzinger have all been grounded after the rotor blades of a Pontifical HH-3F Agusta Bell were vaporised in a fierce dogfight with a UFO over Berlin. The inci...
Read full storyObama "Changes" His Mind: Takes Ownership of LAST GM Limo!
Detroit,Mi/ Auto Times - Reversing an earlier decision to look Presidential and frugal in his "Pimp My Ride" Yugo Limo featured earlier in The Spoof, the President Elect instead ordered up the "Mother of All Limos" according to Chief of Staff Rahm...
Read full storyDalek Poetry Reading
A recent poetry evening, organised by Lenny Smith, a 37 year old Dalek was said to be a complete disaster. Smith, a peace loving Dalek, completely at odds with his comrades blamed a lack of love for Poetry amongst his friends for the show's disapp...
Read full storyCasey Anthony Innocent and admits: "A Dingo Ate My Baby"
A startling admission by tot mom Casey Anthony in the disapearance of 3 yr old Caylee Anthony "A dingo ate my baby". In a released statement by her attorney Jose Baez, Casey tells the tragic story of what happened that day in the park with Zenida Gon...
Read full storyThe FA Bollo*ks the Big 4!
Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool football clubs have been called into FA headquarters to '...explain what the fu*k they are playing at'. FA Chaiman Brian Balddick called an urgent meeting with the Owners and Managers of the clubs concerned to get t...
Read full storyPrince Charles Not A Happy Bunny...
Charles, HRH The Prince Of Wales & Camden market on Saturdays (When it isn't raining), made a further statement following the interview in which he stated he wasn't happy with his job. He was quoted today as saying ''I also don't like vegetabl...
Read full storyObama Hires "Joe the Plumber" to Fix White House Leaks!
Chicago,Il/ Plumbing News - Reaching out in conciliation, President Elect Barack Hussein Obama has hired iconic GOP spokesman "Joe the plumber" to fix a stream of embarrassing leaks originating from his transition team. Joe Wurzelbacher, descri...
Read full story'Racist Shock Jock' called me a 'Dirty Fu*king Foreign Cu*t'!
Radio Shock Jock Chris Moylze was today embroiled in a bitter race row that is sending shockwaves through the Big Bottom Broadcasting Company (BBBC) only days after one of his colleagues was sacked from her show in similar circumstances. Iamafta S...
Read full storyWinslet Upset at Airbrushed Bush
London - Kate Winslet, an adamant PETA proponent, is livid at Vanity Fair magazine after her coverphoto shoot, seen in this month's issue. Apparently the airbrush allegations that the magazine is defending are true. Winslet appeared on this m...
Read full storyObama Rescues NASCAR: Gore Named Car Czar After Big 3 Fail!
Charlotte, NC/ Open Wheel News - President Elect Barack Obama acted with alacrity today moments after news from Wall Street that the Big Three automakers declared bankruptcy and withdrew their NASCAR support. Announcing it was "time for a CHARGE",...
Read full storyLast Laugh
In Brazil, Hernandez Gomez had the last laugh on the day of his own funeral. Hernandez died aged 82, just twelve weeks after marrying Consuela Blanco, 24, leaving his new bride over a million dollars in inheritance from his popular chain of shoe s...
Read full storyAlistair Darling to make Monopoly Money legal Tender
In a bit to soften the effects of the Credit Crunch, Chancellor of the Exchequer, Alistair Darling is to make Monoploy Money legal tender. Speaking to us earlier, the Sam the Bald Eagle of British Politics told us: 'Monopoly Money will be legal Te...
Read full storyDidier Drogba To Face Life Ban For Coin-Throwing
A bad night at the office, turned into a bad day at the office today, as Chelsea striker Didier Drogba was told he can expect a life ban from English football grounds for throwing a coin into a group of Burnley fans at last night's Carling cuptie, wh...
Read full storyDebt Loop Holes
After hearing about the actions of a couple in Rugeley, Staffordshire who successfully challenged their credit agreements to have nearly £100,000 written off their £120,000 debts, Gordon Brown instructed Alistair Darling to investigate their terms wi...
Read full storyEU to allow wonky veg
To give Neil Kinnock his due, he has worked tirelessly on behalf of British farmers for the past twenty years to overturn the EU directive that disallows the sale of knobbly carrots and bent cucumbers. Since the introduction of EU Directive 1677/8...
Read full storyChristmas Cancelled due to Economic Recession
World leaders meeting at next weeks Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) conference in Peru are expected to endorse a proposal from the International Monetary Fund (IMF) to erase Christmas from this years calender. IMF spokesman Dr E.Scrooge s...
Read full storyObama Will Build Encampments for Foreclosure Victims on Banker's Estates
The estates of wealthy financial industry executives will be opened to the victims of the foreclosure crisis, the office of President elect Barack Obama announced today. "Large estates such as the Boston home of ex-Freddie Mac CEO Richard Syron wi...
Read full storyRussel Brand in new Daffodil Drug Sensation
Bad boy Brand, one time broadcaster, revealed as Daffodil abuser! Authorities are rushing to contain the latest drug sensation, Daffodils, distilled, are said to be more powerful than Methamphetamine or LSD. Local councils now have the answer...
Read full storyDear AssFrFred44Giveness: Why do US Catholic Bishops H8 Obama-Biden?
Dear Ass, I have been a Democrat and a Catholic all of my life. The Democrat party has paralleled the profound social justice teachings of the Roman Catholic Church in many ways. The defense of the poor, the immigrant, the non-combatant in war and the person in need of health care have been Democrat doctrine and Catholic dogma. Opposition to Capital Punishment has been a Democrat platform p...
Read full storyUS Catholic Bishops Serve Sour Grapes Blood of Christ to Obama-Biden!
The US Catholic hierarchy has cast its forty pieces of silver with the pro-death penalty, war-mongering Republican party of the rich for decades now. The Democrat party whose policies conform most to Catholic social teaching in its defense of the...
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