Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 13 November 2008

image for Mexicans patent the art of tequila diamonds
Six bottles of Jose Cuervo's fabled limited edition El Bastardo is all it takes to make one sparkler

Tijuana - (Ass Mess): Scientists at Mexico's fabled Chupacabras University have patented the process by which the country's favorite daily tipple is transformed into precious stones.

They discovered that heating the vapor from tequila blanco onto a stainless steel plate produces 'tiara-sized' tequila diamonds.

Dr V Smart, the university's Emeritius Goat-Sucker Professor of Alcohol Studies said the find was a bit of a fluke initially.

"We began experimenting some 30 years ago at a regular faculty Friday night poker game when the aircon suddenly broke down," Smart related.

"The six of us had downed our usual six bottles each of the 'El Bastardo' - Jose Cuervo's special limited edition and were feeling a bit queasy.

"Then one of my colleagues threw up in the faculty's stainless steel sink. Five minutes later the puke fumes suddenly condensed and covered the sink with a sparkling film of the purest diamonds.


The university now hopes to go into business in direct competition with DeBeers, traditional supplier of tiara-sized sparklers.


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Mexico, Tequila, diamonds

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