Written by Jeff Brone

Thursday, 13 November 2008

A few years ago, I wiped up some orange soda spilled by someone else who didn't notice what he did (at least that's how he made it look!). I don't remember getting a thank you for that, but I didn't let it bother me. I help when I'm needed. That's what I do, that's who I am.

Last week I gave someone a band aid I had in my desk drawer after he cut his hand on one of our file cabinets. The edges are sharp and I have complained to HR several times about them (no response from them, thank you very much!). Well, horseplay turned to tears, and I gladly gave the fellow a bandage, the good kind, not the generic type. I was happy to help, as usual.

Where am I going with all this, you may ask. Why haven't I received a gift for all I do around here? I'm not asking for much. A gift card to a local casual restaurant would be nice, as would a nice basket with muffins, cheeses and fruit. I would even share it with my co workers, except that short girl in business development. She gets nothing and will like it. But everyone else can have some. Of course, be polite, don't eat it all yourself. But enjoy, I live to see others happy!

I heard about someone in another department a while back who got two tickets to a baseball game for being especially nice to a client. I thought we all were supposed to do that anyway. And get this, he didn't even use the tickets because he was tired that night. Some people would have been very happy with two tickets, and would have used them, tired or not, because that's the right thing to do. Not him, that fatso. I know that really isn't the point, but he is fat, so there! It's just rude not to use a gift given in a good spirit. I know I would have used them if I got them. But I didn't. That's all I'm saying, is I would have used them.

Thanks for listening. It's a gift in itself, I guess, that I can speak my mind and have people listen to me. And truthfully, that does make me happy.

Not as happy as a real gift would, of course, but happy.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more