Valley of the Kings - (Sarcophagus Mess): A world famous Egyptologist has slammed the latest pyramid scheme to raise archaeological funds by selling off bits of the Sphinx.
Dr V Smart, Cuneiform Professor of Embalming Fluid Studies at Cairo's Arak University said the scheme would never work because of a legendary 6th century BC curse on the ancient monument.
"We think this typically fraudulent non-sustainable scheme is a classic Matrix scam," Smart explained, "first hatched in the Shitt-el-Arab holiday resort by Cherie Blair QC."
Blair and her husband reputedly made over £20 million by flogging off Sphinx futures via a Lehman Brothers hedge fund that has since collapsed.
They now owe over £50 million in unsecured IOUs to the Northern Crock Bank.