Didier Drogba To Face Life Ban For Coin-Throwing

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 13 November 2008

image for Didier Drogba To Face Life Ban For Coin-Throwing
No, no, no, you IDIOT!

A bad night at the office, turned into a bad day at the office today, as Chelsea striker Didier Drogba was told he can expect a life ban from English football grounds for throwing a coin into a group of Burnley fans at last night's Carling cuptie, which the Blues lost on penalties.

The incident occurred immediately after Drogba scored the opening goal, and went to celebrate in front of the Burnley fans, which was tantamount to 'incitement'. A coin was tossed onto the pitch near Drogba, but the oafish lout, who should have given it to the referee for him to deal with, threw it back into the crowd.

WRONG!!!

Throwing coins is not an acceptable way of behaving in a football stadium, and is widely-discouraged. Just last month at the Aston Villa v. Portsmouth game, a coin was thrown onto the pitch at then-Portsmouth manager Harry Redknapp. It missed its target, hitting the linesman instead, and causing a gash on his forehead.

Villa manager Martin O'Neill said that day:

"It's absolutely and totally unacceptable. When the culprit is found, he or she should be banned from football stadiums for life."

Wise words, and the Football Association and Premier League are of the same opinion as Mr O'Neill, and are expected to summarily ban Drogba from ever again appearing on the English footballing stage.

One Burnley fan, Terry Smith, who was in the stadium near to where Drogba threw the 50p coin, said:

"He's an idiot! That coin could have taken someone's eye out. Nutter!"

Another, Cheryl Grimsdyke, 41, of Nelson, told us:

"It was wrong for him to celebrate his goal in front of us like he did. That's what they call 'inciting behaviour'. A fan then lobbed him a coin which landed miles away from him on the grass. Then he 'skimmed' it back into the Burnley supporters, like you do those flat stones at the seaside. He should be banned for life!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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