Efforts of 'Dancing Bees' are often wasted on distracted voters
Much has been made about the waggle dance, a fox trot of sorts that campaigning politicians do to tell voter 'bees' they have found a good publicity source, 'issue' or a juicy scandal.
Read full storyShuttle Endeavour pulls out, but promises to phone
The space shuttle Endeavour and the International Space Station parted ways early this morning with an emotional farewell that followed Endeavour's abrupt coitus interruptus maneuver.
Read full storyTata to Jaguar and Land Rover
Tata Mate Motor Company, the Indian motor manufacturer, has announced that it has agreed to buy Land Rover and Jaguar for around £1 from Ford if it includes the carpets.
Read full storyEmma Watson Turns Nun
Harry Potter actress Emma Watson, 17, has got a calling from God and now realises that she can no longer go on working on the films because she must take her place in her local convent.
Read full storyEarly Egyptians revered the lowly turd
When archaeologists excavated brick tombs outside a ceremonial site for an early king of Egypt, they expected to find the remains of high officials who had been sacrificed to accompany the king in his imaginary posthumous travels.
Read full storyHillary's "Misspeak" on Bosnia
After the CBS News video from Hillary Clinton's 1996 Bosnia visit contradicted her recollections of landing under sniper fire, Clinton recanted her earlier statements. She said the sniper fire she was remembering was actually inside the living qu...
Read full storyGirls Aloud split up due to irreconcilable differences
One of the most popular girl groups of recent years has been forced to split due to irreconcilable differences. The girls, famous for their catchy songs and raunchy videos have been forced to break up due to deeply held views about whether the UK sho...
Read full storyThree Men and a Little bit of middle age spread
TV and Film Stars Ted Danson, Steve Guttenberg and Tom 'Magnum Moustache PI' Selleck are to be re-united for the third installment of their hit movie franchise 'Three Men and a Little Lady'.
Read full storyAmanda Bynes To Fall Down A Lot In Next Film
(Hollywood) - Amanda Bynes is hard at work on the upcoming Disney film Radioactive Romance. The plucky yet adorable actress is blinded by science and fun as a young Marie Curie.
Read full storyCarla Brunei naked internet video porn to be auctioned in New York
New York - (Naked Ass Mess): A naked pornographic video of France's Madame Carla Brunei is to be auctioned in New York next month.
Read full storyBoiling the Frog
Dateline 25 March 2010 - I'm talking to Tug Netlurker, CEO of Smurf, the Internet Intervention Tool providers; their motto 'Whenever you surf, we're the m(an) in the middle'.
Read full storyTom Cruise Gives Hand Job To Barbara Streisands Masseuse
Hollywood superstar Tom Cruise has finally found the man he wants. The loveable Scientologist has been searching the nation for a hand masseuse to keep his delicate hands soft and "calm his raging spirit" w...
Read full storyMicrosoft Announces the Dawn of a New Technological Era
Cyberland, just north-east of Tumbridge Wells - The age of electronic commerce is jumping forward again, much like a Mexican Jumping Bean on a trampoline.
Read full storyWarning: Dining Early may Cause Advanced Aging
AP, SARASOTA - Prefer your fried food a la four pm? Like to eat your eel early? Beware: such habits may earn you a one-way trip to the nursing home.
Read full storyKing Tut Owned IPod and Cell Phone
(Memphis Egypt) Famed egyptologist Dr. Zany Hogwash announced to a stunned world that King Tutankhamun owned an Ipod and a cell phone. The items were discovered in 1922 by the Carter expedition but were misidentified as kitchen utensils. King Tut liv...
Read full storyCapello offered $5 million bung for England 0-3 disaster in Paris
Stade de France - (Zut Alors! Mess): Football coach Fabio Capello has been offered a $5 million bribe for a Rio Ferdinand-captained England side to lose three nil to the Frogs tomorrow night.
Read full storyFake Researcher Targets London Offices
Fake researchers have mounted a coordinated attack on some of the top offices in London's financial district. At least six office workers have fallen foul of the scam and police suspect many more are simply too embarrassed to come forward.
Read full storyHerman Goering Suite awaits Rudolf Hess's son Sarkozy
Windsor Castle - (Zyklon B Mess): The newly revamped Herman Goering Suite awaits France's Nazi collaborating President Nicholas Sarkozy and his Opus Dei fag hag Carla Brunei.
Read full storyTop Liverpool cop hits out at judges lenient sentancing for firearms offences
A Merseyside Chief Constable has hit out at lenient sentencing of gun offenders by judges. Highlighting the often light sentences handed out to gun toting criminals, he explained "Take for example the case of Rhys Jones. His killer was filmed...
Read full storySchick, Gillette Engineering Razorpocalypse
CAMBRIDGE, MA - When King Camp Gillette invented the first disposable blade safety razor in 1904 he probably never imagined a third, fourth, or even fifth blade being added to his beloved shaver. Now, more than one hundred years later, the Gille...
Read full storyDora the Explorer Completes Journey
Dora the Explorer, the animated children's television star, completed a difficult journey recently. Like many young celebrities, Dora had fallen into some bad behavior with alcohol a major factor. An affair with Clay Aiken and a foray into adult...
Read full storyShooting on the set of "That '70s Show -- The Movie" delayed Due to the Rearrest of convicted SLA Terrorist, Sara Jane Olson
Hollywood, California - Hollywood movie executive producers of "That '70s Show" and former "Flower Children" of the turbulent '60s themselves, were eager to help re-assimilate convicted Symbionese Liberation Army (SLA) me...
Read full storyKidnap and sadistic murder to be banned in Basra outside daylight hours
In a crackdown on the increasingly criminal activities of the Mahdi army shi'ite militia, the authorities in Basra have banned murder, kidnap and extortion between 22:00 and 06:00 local time. The move is expected to be welcomed by all sides in t...
Read full storyEco-towns to reintroduce man with red flag for motorists
Housing minister Caroline Flint has announced that vehicles driving on roads into the planned eco-towns will be compelled to have a man walking in front of them waving a red flag. As part of the governments plans to minimise the carbon footprint of...
Read full storyMichael Jackson, Heather Mills and JK Rowling fronting new Vegas casino licence
Las Vegas - (Rioters): UN humanitarian ambassadors Michael Jackson, Heather Mills and JK Rowling are the official backers of a new Las Vegas casino, the Pink Pellicano, scheduled for opening on July 4th this year.
Read full storyRespected U.S. Senator Suggests State Governors Seek Illicit Sex or Go On Shopping Sprees!
You've had enough. I've had enough. It's now always in our faces! How many more sex scandals are ready to be divulged? "Governors, virtually all married, with no affairs under their belts, are just not with the program," says Pe...
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