Stade de France - (Zut Alors! Mess): Football coach Fabio Capello has been offered a $5 million bribe for a Rio Ferdinand-captained England side to lose three nil to the Frogs tomorrow night.
The bung is part of a Puppet Monarchy schmoozefest that kicks off with the French state visit of Old Fatty Mountbatten's illegitimate brat President Nicholas Rudolf Hess-Sarkozy and his Opus Dei fag hag wife Carla Brunei.
Some had hoped a newly botoxed David Beckham would be brought out of mothballs to do the honors with his 100th England cap.
"Nah, for that you'd have to up the ante to $20 million minimum for Capello," a FA source said today, "plus at least $2 million for each of the players."
Nancy del'Olio is a basket case.
