Top Liverpool cop hits out at judges lenient sentancing for firearms offences

Funny story written by Andrew Woodfine

Tuesday, 25 March 2008

image for Top Liverpool cop hits out at judges lenient sentancing for firearms offences
Officers in Merseyside are being retrained as Riverdance extras

A Merseyside Chief Constable has hit out at lenient sentencing of gun offenders by judges. Highlighting the often light sentences handed out to gun toting criminals, he explained "Take for example the case of Rhys Jones. His killer was filmed on CCTV, named widely both in the locality and on the internet and we even released a statement saying we know who did it. Quite frankly if I had any faith in these wig-headed old codgers in the courts I'd have had him arrested, but as it is why bloody bother?"

He added that "In the unlikely event that our force were to actually arrest anyone for anything some namby pamby judge would probably just give them a free holiday to Barbados with a free bar and all the hookers they could handle so what's the bloody point eh?"

His comments were due to be made at a major meeting of police chiefs in Birmingham, but were rescheduled to a bus stop in Toxteth as his car had been stolen in what he described as "a bit of high spirited larking by local youngsters"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot