Pork Shortage Forecast As Irish Pigs Refuse To Eat Their Dinners
Crisis on the Emerald Isle this evening, as millions of pigs in Ireland claimed that the feed they are given is of a very poor quality indeed. One pig said: "It's effing swill!" At Mick Farm in Co. Donegal, several thousand pigs staged a pro...
Read full storySigns Oprah May Be Losing It
Regular viewers of the Oprah Winfrey Show say her actions are getting a little more weird with every episode lately. "It started about three months ago. She was having so many psychiatrists and doctors and diet people on that she just doesn't seem...
Read full storyNana Mouskouri is a 'babe' say scientists
Scientists from the Stan Butler University in Cockney Land, London. Have announced that seventies, Greek Songstress Nana Mouskouri is a hot mamma. "In the past she was stigmatised as a, reet boiler" said Professor Nomoney Jones. "However she shou...
Read full storyCongress to Bail Out Newspapers
As the economic crisis intensifies, newspapers may well be the canary in the coal mine. Now Congress looks ready to provide some fresh air to the industry. Regular newspapers were already struggling with declining revenues due to competition from...
Read full storyBarack Obama Cousins With Addams Family
Washington DC-- A family secret of Barack Obama was revealed over the weekend. He is a first cousin of Morticia Addams. Mr. Obama's mother was the daughter of Aunt Cringe and Uncle Fester. Aunt Cringe died recently in Hawaii. Mr. Obama has gone to...
Read full storyParis Hilton Doesn't Know Diddly Squat About Football
BURBANK, California - Paris Hilton is known for doing pretty much nothing. The young lady has it made. She is good looking. She is rich. And she can smile and chew gum at the same time. Paris recently appeared on Wyatt Van Cleve's sports show 'The World of Footballs, Baseballs, Basketballs, and Lots of Other Balls.' The show is syndicated and appears on cable's 'Sporting Channel.' Van Cle...
Read full storySatired, Tired and Retired
EARTH - It's over. Satire has been displaced. Reality is the new satire. Who can compete with ludicrous regular true news stories? Satire artists are retiring in droves, being replaced by sophomoric morons spewing banal vulgar drivel found in today's "real" news. There was a time when one would could get some comfort from exaggerating the truth to make it comfortably more terrible than real...
Read full storyBritney's Actual Reasons For Divorce
Last week, someone in the California justice department secretly copied some of the reasons Britney Spears told the judge why she was filing for divorce against husband Kevin Federline two years ago. Although the official cause was irreconcilable differences, the one page that was smuggled out and copied has been released. Following are some of the reasons Britney gave at the hearing: Kevin...
Read full story"Message In A Bottle"
A message in a bottle that was tossed into the ocean off Barnegat Bay in New Jersey has turned up in North Carolina -39 years later. The note was sealed in a Schaefer beer bottle. It was dated Aug. 17, 1969 and reads: "Like, whoever gets this...have a groovy day. This is no trash talk, man. I wish you the best, whoever and whenever, dude. We're cool here. Enjoying our brown rice and b...
Read full storyAnother Shopping Spree For Sarah Palin
Pouring 34 billion into the auto executives gas tanks is like giving: George Bush four more years; Clara Harris a couple of more rounds in her Mercedes; and another shopping spree for Sarah Palin. Bailout/rescue money ain't going to work with the...
Read full storyDiana Vickers Shits Her Knickers
Viewers of ITV's X Factor were shocked and stunned last night, when singing sensation Diana Vickers was eliminated from the competition, and, in front of milllions watching on TV, promptly shit her knickers. Show host Dermot O'Leary caught some of...
Read full storyFDA and US Agriculture Dept. Approve Cola as Pesticides
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - The US Food and Drug Administration and the Department of Agriculture have jointly approved the use of cola as pesticides in farming and general pest control both outdoors and indoors. The two government organizations had...
Read full storyO.J. Simpson Gets 33 Years
Las Vegas, Nevada: Gridiron great O.J. Simpson will serve at least nine years in prison for his role in an armed confrontation with sports memorabilia dealers in a Las Vegas hotel in 2007. O.J. Simpson told the judge Friday that he was sorry for...
Read full storyKaren Matthews Is The BBC's Tracy Beaker's Real Mum Shock Disgust Horror!
The most evil woman at the moment, Karen Matthews, is the secret mother of the fictional Tracy Beaker, says me. It can be revealed by me, that evil Karen, 32 and 3/4, had Tracy when she was ten years old and then discarded her in a television p...
Read full storyMillions Flee Ireland in Pork Famine
County Downwind, Ireland - This lush Irish countryside, once brown as far as the eye could see with pig farms, now lies empty and desolate in the wake of the recent devastating tainted pork recall. The Irish government has acted quickly to recall...
Read full storyDodgy Irish Pork Behind Royal Swine Fever Attack
London - (Royal Ass Mess): Toxic behavior by the lard-arsed Duchess of Pork's Provisional IRA pals may be behind the Queen sickening according to Palace medical sources. HM the Puppet Monarch was quarantined on Saturday night after a rasher (sic)...
Read full storyCountdown to Christmas - Gift suggestions for Andy Murray
Even friends and family of the rich and famous can have problems selecting gifts. So our team has been helping out with ideas gleaned from the many Christmas catalogues which have arrived at The Spoof office over the last few weeks. This week the focus is on gifts for British tennis sensation, Andy Murray... 1. Thorntons Deluxe Hamper Ideal for sharing with Team Murray - or perhaps not, fo...
Read full storyNew Zealand defiant in defeat
New Zealand conceded defeat in the Second Cricket Test in Adelaide today but not before challenging their Australian opponents to a number of sporting sporting contests immediately following the conclusion of the Test Match. The Kiwi captain refu...
Read full storyHoax calls bring about end of the world
Sydney, 1st Feb, 2013 - Two hoax calls that were made to US President Sarah Palin and Pakistan President Arif Zardari last night brought an end to world civilization after these calls triggered off a nuclear holocaust resulting in probable death of o...
Read full story"Flat" Gas Tax Cramps America's Midsection
Gobal warming experts have begun to stress the deliterious effects of methane gas release on world wide temperature. Landfills of course are being targeted as dangerous sources of methane but an unexpected culprit is being identified as a possible hi...
Read full storyGates at Pentagon and Henderson at Homeland Recruit Foreign Workers
With the US suffering its highest unemployment rates in decades two prominent government departments claim that they have had to hire foreign workers to fill essential spots. Gates of the Pentagon says that he couldn't find US doctors, nurses and...
Read full storyBush Declares Victory in the Middle East and The Second Coming of Christ
Worst US President Bush gave a stirring victory speech at the Saban Forum this week. The only problem was that his administration has been the biggest loser in American and world history. His successor will inherit disaster and destruction in the Mid...
Read full storyBar's Bath Tub Gin Blinding Patrons - Bar Shuttered
EMMAUS - Constable Finless closed the Emmaus Saloon for serving its 'Aspartame Knocker': 2 jiggers lemon juice, 1 PURE aspartame. Blinded patrons were knocked on their Pennsylvania dutch lardy butts (PDLB). Investigation by the Emmaus constable re...
Read full storyLowton Explains Technical Difficulties
Lancashire - TheSpoof.com entrepreneur and Internet handyman Mark Lowton takes full responsibility for recent technical glitches on the TheSpoof.com site. Lowton admits that he could have got things up and running sooner if he had forked out some...
Read full storyDefense Spending to be Reduced
Washington DC: President Elect Obama has informally asked his Secretary of Defense Robert Gates to think about how defense spending could be cut, without sacrificing military systems development, operational readiness and troop welfare. The Presi...
Read full storyManchester United Players Don't Make Good Managers, Says Ferguson
"Just because a footballer has enjoyed a successful playing career with Manchester United, doesn't mean that he will make it in the field of management." These were the wise words of Manchester United boss, Sir Alex Ferguson, today after his side'...
Read full storyIraqis Create Union For Suicide Bombers
Today union minded Iraqis formed Suicide Bombers Locale #467 in Baghdad but had to promptly look for a new union hall as a couple of the members brought their work in with them. Sitting outside the smoldering building the surviving members passed an...
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