Signs Oprah May Be Losing It

Funny story written by Bureau

Sunday, 7 December 2008

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Regular viewers of the Oprah Winfrey Show say her actions are getting a little more weird with every episode lately.

"It started about three months ago. She was having so many psychiatrists and doctors and diet people on that she just doesn't seem the same Oprah we've all watched for years", stated one fan in Chicago where the show is filmed.

"The other day she gave everybody in the crowd a fake Timex", said another longtime viewer. "I know it must be hard doing so many shows and all her other stuff but it's beginning to get her down. That and the constant up and down weight problems."

Among other things viewers have caught in just the past three months are:

Constantly referring to herself as the President-elect Obama's "Godmother" and raging at those who didn't like her early endorsement of Obama, ending with "So you girl, can kiss my balack hiney!"

Last Wednesday's topic: "Women Who Marry Their Fiancees!"

Recently gave everybody in the audience a free tranquilized mongoose.

Wrestling match with Gerado.

Visiting Charles Manson in prison and kept referring to him as O.J.

Suddenly lifting her blouse and asking Dr. Phil to see if she had any lumps.

Had visiting Richard Simmons in tears within five minutes.

"And here's our expert on how to get this dohickey on this thingamajig here when it's on the fritz, ready to explode in three minutes."

The closeup at the end of a recent show revealed she was wearing three different wigs and her right eyebrow is now over her left eyebrow.

And finally, hundreds of thousands of people saw her ass suddenly drop six inches while she was waving goodbye last Friday.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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