Hoax calls bring about end of the world

Funny story written by Onionuttapam

Sunday, 7 December 2008

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Sydney, 1st Feb, 2013 - Two hoax calls that were made to US President Sarah Palin and Pakistan President Arif Zardari last night brought an end to world civilization after these calls triggered off a nuclear holocaust resulting in probable death of over 3 billion people, half of world's population.

Last night, a caller pretending to be Indian Prime Minister, Lal Krishna Advani called Zardari and told him scoffingly in hindi,"Kambhakt Zardari, hamare nuclear missiles tumhare Lahore aur Karachi ko poori tarah se tabaah kar chuke hai. Ab Islamabad ki baari hai! Bhaag sako to bhago, Zardari..Hahahaha" ("Our nuclear-loaded missiles have landed on Lahore and Karachi and blown up both your cities. Islamabad is next! Run if you can!! Mu-ha-ha-ha!!!)

A panicky Zardari immediately ordered nuclear strikes on New Delhi & Mumbai in retaliation which resulted in counter-strikes by India. India hit back strongly by nuking Islamabad, Lahore, Karachi and Hyderabad. And Pakistan went up in smoke!

At around the same time, US President Sarah Palin also received a prank call by a caller claiming to be Russia's President Dmitry Medvedev. The prank caller informed Palin that Russia has nuked New York, Los Angeles & Chicago. "Luk aauoot auf er veendow, Saraah. You veel soon see a beautifool mushroom claoood auootside!"

Sarah Palin got panicky, shrieked "OMG! OMG Nuk-u-lear war is upon us!" and ordered half a dozen Russian cities to be nuked. But due to missile-launcher malfunction, a couple of them landed on Chinese soil by mistake. Within next half an hour, US was inundated by nuclear missiles from both Russia and China landing on all its major cities. All of its major cities were totally incinerated. Pentagon reacted by firing more nuclear-loaded missiles over China and Russia. And both China and Russia went up in smoke!

With over three-quarters of population of US, Russia, China, India and Pakistan facing nuclear winter, the world as we know has come to a disastrous end. All because of two hoax calls and two dumb presidents who couldn't detect a petty prank.

According to political analysts, this terrible nuclear holocaust could have been avoided had the people of US & Pakistan not appointed political novices like Palin and Zardari to their highest seat of power.

This was not the first time that the two leaders fell prey to a prank call. In 2008, when Sarah Palin was running for vice-presidency, she got hoaxed by a Canadian DJ who pretented to be French President Nicholas Sarkozy. In the same year, Zardari was fooled by a prank caller who claimed to be India's foreign minister Pranab Mukherkee and threatened Pakistan with military action.

Palin survived the ignominy and ridicule that followed the hoax call, won republican primaries four years later and was elected America's president early this year after bitterly fought elections against former President Barack Obama who not only completely failed to revive US economy but also got his country further embroiled in disastrous war campaigns. Zardari too survived veiled military threats by India and continued ruling Pakistan for another four years.

Unfortunately for all of us, the world couldn't survive the two hoaxed presidents.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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