
Klu Klux Klan Takes First Black Candidate
The roll on affect of the election of black presidential candidate Barrack Obama has continued today following the announcement that Reg Wendell a plumber from south Georgia has been the first African American to have his nomination into the Klu Klux...
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Michael Caine says he "doesn't give a Bloody F*ck" what he gets for Christmas
British thespian Sir Michael Caine has told his cat that he doesn't give a bloody fuck what he gets for Christmas this year. The celebrated Oscar winner made the abrupt statement while having a shit in the cats food bowl. Caine - star of such f...
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Joe Swash Wins I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, And Kisses All The Blokes To Celebrate
EastEnders star, Joe Swash, became the latest winner of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here tonight, and to celebrate, kissed all of the male contestants, fuelling intense speculation that the chirpy actor might 'really fancy blokes'. Swash, who l...
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50 Cent To Join David Van Day In Dollar Relaunch
Rap star, 50 Cent, has told music journalists in New York that he has already met with ex-Dollar singer and I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here contestant, David Van Day, with a view to relaunching the drab 1970s pop group Dollar. Cent, real name...
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$108 Million Diamond Heist in Paris
La Ville-Lumiere, France - Armed robbers stormed the Paris branch of jeweller Harry Winston and waltzed out with a cool $108 million in diamonds yesterday. The robbers were variously described by witnesses as four men, two dressed as drag queens o...
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Silly Tosser Scores Trillion Hits On TheSpoof.com
Springfield PA-- A silly tosser named Mr. Fish became the first person ever to score over one trillion views on TheSpoof.com website. The severely obsessive-compulsive 'writer' posts exactly 100 insipid 'stories' to the website every single day.
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Flight Attendants and Nurses don't look sexy without their Uniforms
In a survey of heterosexual males, 95 % said they found female flight attendants and nurses to be incredibly sexy. But the survey didn't take into account reactions to these groups when not in their trademarked uniforms. When not in uniform, the l...
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My visit to Acapulco
No way I am missing going to Acapulco as often as possible. It is so incredible! So wonderful! I stayed at a very nice Hotel with all included. Drinks, Food and a very exclusive environment. One can really make friends up there from all over the world. The SALSA festival was on and we were so lucky to stay at the same hotel where all dancers stayed. I could not believe my eyes. The most b...
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Florida Congresswoman Hangs Up On Obama
Miami, Florida: When a man sounding remarkably like President-elect Barack Obama placed a call to a Florida congresswoman Wednesday, she just assumed it was another crank call. So Republican Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen hung up. But, the Miami Herald...
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Santa Claus To Congress: "One Trillion Dollars Or No Christmas."
(Washington, D.C.) In the CEO Gulfstream jet wake of General Motors, Ford and Chrysler returning to Congress in search of a 34 billion-dollar bailout, a sleigh with a vanity license plate that read simply "S. Claus" touched down in front of the Capit...
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Joe with Miley
The real reason, according to what I just made up, for the Niley breakup was that Miley Cyrus was more interested in Joe Jonas, than Nick Jonas. Joe and Miley had already planned the Niley breakup - poor Nick was trapped ruthlessly into the plot.
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No eponymous tanker deal for Chevron's General Jones
Washington AC/DC - (BigOil Ass Mess): Newly appointed Obama Administration National Security Advisor General Jones is miffed. When he takes up his post in January there will be no boardroom dilemma at the Chevron Oil Corporation where he has been...
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Hitler's neighbour knew nothing
Former neighbours of the one-time German dictator, Adolph Hitler, have told of their experience living next door to the young Nazi. In an interview with "Nuts and Looneys" magazine, Mrs Von Winklehorn said of him, "We knew him as 'little Hitler' b...
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Canadian Parliament hangs a "Gone Ice Fishing" sign on their door
Ottawa, Canada - Canadians woke up this morning to find a "Gone Fishing" sign hung on the locked doors of their Parliament. "I was as surprised as anyone," said the Canadian Prime Minister at a press conference today. "They didn't invite me, let alon...
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Boy George is Fat and Guilty Say Smug Jury!
Fat Boy George O'Dowd, was found guilty by a group of people, that enjoy seeing celebrities brought to their knees. The 1980's pop sensation was found guilty of being fat, bald, and looking "very ordinary". He was also found guilty of the lesser c...
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John Lennon: Ten Little Known Facts About Beatle John
SAN ANTONIO, Texas - December 8, 2008, will mark the 28th anniversary of John Lennon's passing. John, Paul, George, and Ringo (the Beatles) still remain the most famous band of all-time. Ten Little Known Facts About John Lennon: 1. He hated t…
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Spoof Writer Forced Into Premature Retirement By Bullying Wife
Spoof writer Skoob 1999 has been forced into premature retirement by his overly aggressive homicidal wife. Mrs Skoob is forcing Skoob to write this live, online. She is currently standing behind me wielding a cricket bat in one hand and a Stanley knife in the other.I'm pretty scared. Why are you doing this? I ask her. 'Because you're more bleedin' interested in making strangers laugh t...
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Creepy Kid Who 'Sees Dead People' Says He's Well Happy
Creepy kid Justin Thyme, who claims to see dead people, not unlike that spook out of that movie with Bruce Willis in it announced today that he was quite happy with his unusual 'gift'. 'Other kids go to bed and they see bogey men hiding in the wardrobe' the irritating little shit told us. 'But it's not like that for me.' So what exactly is it like? we asked. 'Well,' Justin said. 'If I wan...
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If I Were PM I'd Ban Baby On Board Car Stickers
When asked what the first thing he'd do as newly elected Prime Minister, Conservative party leader 'Do Nothing Dave' Cameron announced to the world's press that he would: 'Ban Baby On Board car stickers.' Why? Anton Wildebeest of the Cape Times enquired. 'They're dishonest,' said Do Nothing Dave. 'They're misleading. They represent everything that's wrong with society today.' How so? a...
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Dr. Verner Von Vass Historical Documents Found
ESPAGARDA, Denmark - Dr. Verner Von Vass was killed in World War II. However, a key aspect of his NAZI weapons program has come to light with a discovery in the Espagarda Library, near the train station. This exclusive interview with Ms. Furbootenass, Librarian, gives all the details of an as yet unknown chemical weapon. "Ms. Furbootenass, how did you discover these long lost documents?"...
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Guilderland Woman Held On Prostitution Charge
A woman is under arrest on prostitution charges after a man who had paid her for sex was so traumatised, he tried to extort money from her. Schoen LaBombard, 41, was duped by the prostitute, and is recovering at home with his wife and children aft...
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Paul McCartney and Amy Winehouse Are Recording A Compilation CD
LONDON, England - Paul McCartney and Amy Winehouse have decided that they will put out a CD with songs that are a combination of songs by the Beatles and Winehouse. Paul told a reporter for the BBC that he first came across the idea when he was r...
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Unemployment Up But Top Jobs Left Unfilled In Dysfunctional Obama Welfare World!
Princeton,NJ/ Employment Daily - While the nation's economy continues to tank and millions are threatened with loss of jobs, many top positions are going unfilled due to lack of interest by the country's 25-40 "me first" age group. In a new on line employment service enticingly named "Take This Job, PLEASE", founders claim many high paying, high profile jobs are just not getting filled for lack...
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ESPN's Chris Berman Interviews Obama and McCain During Monday Night Football
Berman: Good evening, Senator Obama and Senator McCain. Thank you so much for taking some of our--I mean your time to be with us this evening. We tossed a coin, and Senator Obama won, so we'll start with him. Senator Obama, what sort of changes do you plan to make to the NFL? Obama: Chris, some teams are collecting far more wins than they need, while other teams have few wins, if any. I...
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George Lopez Named Director of The US Border Patrol
EAST LOS ANGELES, California - Comedian George Lopez has just been named by President-elect Barack Obama to be the new United States Border Patrol Director. Lopez will head up a government organization which is comprised of 16,000 border patrol ag…
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Aspartame Approved for Lethal Injection
GENEVA - UN officials disclosed to this TheSpoof writer that when the UN takes over next year, capital punishment will be administered by the UN using aspartame. "We feel it is quite humane to provide a sweet experience. There are many reasons for this choice. Here are the top ten: 10. It's fun to clean up the spills cause you can lick your fingers. 9. It's approved by the USA FDA as a...
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The Somali Pirates Vs. The USS Nimitz
MOGADISHU, Somalia - It is being reported by CNN that the Somali pirates have apparently issued a stern warning to the United States. The leader of the Somali pirates, Maxamed 'Jolly Roger' Cilantro told CNN's Wolf Blitzer, "I have something to s…
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Clintons Plead for Campaign Bailout Before Jan. 20: Bankruptcy Looms!
Ny/NY / Campaign Times - The Clintons announced today they are facing another JOINT Political crisis. This time it involves their "empty" wallet and not one of their wayward penises! Following a Spoof Scoop of Aug. 24, 2008, "Hillary Broke! Fo...
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Obama Solves Mortgage Crisis
President-elect Barack Obama announced his plan to solve the mortgage crisis Friday morning. Effective January 31st, the government will take over all private property. "Private ownership is the root cause of these problems," said Larry Summers, O...
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Ford, GM, & Chrysler: The "Little 3" in D.C.
The CEOs of the Big Three automakers were back before Congress yesterday. They were arguing for a bigger bailout while at the same time they were trying to stifle the bad impression they made two weeks ago when they flew into town on private jets, reeking of arrogance, big money, and a 'Who-the-hell-cares-about-global-warming' attitude.' What did the Top 10 things GM's Rick Wagoner, Ford's Al...
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Roy Keane In Line For Newcastle Post
Former Sunderland manager Roy Keane is the talk of Tyneside this morning, after it was reported that the Irishman could be in line to succeed his countryman, Joe Kinnear, at Newcastle United. Keane quit the Stadium of Light on Thursday after 27 mo...
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Big Three Appear as the Fools on the Hill
The big three of the US auto industry appeared on capitol Hill in sack cloth and ashes to present to the Senate a penintential pair plus one. Beating their breasts , the industry that resisted safety and clean air regulations like the plague offered...
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Barbara Bush's Ulcer Named W
Ulcer researchers have often suspected that perforations in the stomach lining were the result of stress caused by humiliation and shame. recent theories about bacterial infection have reduced the psychological hypotheses. That is, until the case of...
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Bissan recalls cars
Bissan Motor, India's only- largest car and plastic maker, is recalling 400 vehicles - some sold in North Korea - after it found some cars had no steering colum, windows, foot brakes or even an engine. The recall covers Patel plastic vans and Tika...
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Aspartame Saved My Ass - A True Story
NEW YORK - As related to TheSpoof by Rundudu Fufoomak. I always carried a full pound of aspartame in a quick release pouch in my purse, just in case. Now, I'm never without the stuff at a meal, or even in the shower or tub. It happened one day when I was walking home from work through Harlem on the way to the Bronx. I had skipped lunch. I sort of stand out, being from Twawtsylvania; I...
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Fart Study Creates Big Stink
CUBA - When you're farting, the whole world really does fart with you. A paper published Friday in a cuban medical journal concludes that farting is contagious - and that people pass on their foul smell even to total strangers. African researcher...
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The Fight for Global Warming
Global warming may be unpopular in some places, but in Timmins Ontario it's got quite a few fans. Best known as the hometown of Shania Twain, it is 700 km (430 miles) north of Toronto, so it gets pretty cold. Residents wouldn't mind a bit more heat.
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Santa Bypasses White House This Year
Santa, in a coordinated effort with the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the Guardian Angel, the Great Pumpkin, and even the Angel of Death has put on a general boycott of the White House this season (Oh, come on, I don't have to tell you why! They don...
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