Millions of Americans think Bush should have sought 3rd term
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - According to a November poll conducted by National Opinion Research Group, 28% of Americans still approved of the way Bush was handling his job as president. In view of this fact, NORG decided to find out more about this curious...
Read full storyNurse Found Hiding In Car Boot
A nurse who had been missing for more than a week, has been found hiding in the boot of a car in Scotland, police have said. Magdeline Makola, 33, from Livingston, had not been seen since the morning of 15 December when she left work at Edinburgh...
Read full storyBBC Reveals Londoners have Turkey Fat for Brains
London - BBC officials are quickly backpedaling on reports warning that Londoners have turkey fat for brains. BBC spokeman Simon Heath says "We hold the opinions of our viewership in the highest regard, notwithstanding the unevenness of some of o...
Read full storyJamie Oliver to Learn English
London - Famous mush-mouthed cooking show celebrity and cook book author Jamie Oliver says he plans on taking some time off from his business pursuits in the New Year to learn English. "Right, good enuff, this may be my biggus challenj yet, so I...
Read full storyStan Collymore Lands Leading Role In Remake Of BBC's 'Dixon Of Dock Green Car Park'
Stan Collymore, the former Liverpool player and Doggist, is set to follow fellow footballer Vinnie Jones into the world of movies, after landing the lead role in the remake of the classic BBC television police series, Dixon of Dock Green. The orig...
Read full storyNew Year's Honours list leaked
A Buckingham palace spokesman was said to be livid that news of some of this year's New Year Honour recipients had leaked out. The spokesman was said to be especially incensed as he had intended selling it to the Sun himself tomorrow. The list, fu...
Read full storyTop Ten Football Commentary Cliches
10. It's "Derby Day" here in wherever, and you can literally feel the tension throughout the city. 9. And it's high, wide, and not at all handsome... goal kick. 8. These two sides are going for it hammer and tongue this afternoon. What entertainment here at wherever. 7. He's an absolutely country mile offside, how the linesman cannot see that is beyond me... 6. And wherever is silence...
Read full storyHull City Manager Phil Brown Remembers His Sunday League Days
There was drama at Manchester City's Eastlands stadium this afternoon, when Hull City manager Phil Brown, having seen his team capitulate to a 4-0 mauling during the first 45 minutes, kept the Tigers players out on the pitch for his halftime team tal...
Read full storyMy Christmas Box
We'll have an X-Men, X-files, X-Box, no socks, X-Factor, Max Factor, Max Bygraves, no war graves of a Christmas I want empathy, an MP3, a hemp-free, hump-free, grump-free, Humperdink, have-a drink of a Christmas An Oh Come All Ye Faithful, Oh strictly come dancing, come-on come-on, curmudgeonly comfy chair of a Christmas A Doctor Do-Little, Doctor Who, PS2, Snoop Dog, poop scoop, Scooby...
Read full storyTom Brady Proposes To Model, Gisele
According to an AP release, Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady has finally officially proposed to Gisele Bundchen after several earlier reports jumped the gun a bit. Also according to sources, football star Brady proposed to his super model love Gi...
Read full storyCockney Rhyming Slang Mourns Loss Of Singer Eartha Kitt
Exponents of Cockney Rhyming Slang, the noble art practised by those born within the sound of Bow Bells at St Mary-le-Bow in London, were in mourning today, after it was announced that Eartha Kitt, the object of one of the language's most-used expres...
Read full storyCruise Line Announces: Travel With Us and Have Your Fat Ass Pay for Itself!
Bergen,Norway/ Cruiser News - Uff Da Cruise Lines (UFDL), announced today the commissioning of a 250 Ton ocean going "Fun Ship" capable of holding 10,000 passengers, while reducing crew to a mere 500 in keeping with demands for less restrictions on p...
Read full storyQueen's Xmas Speech Broadcast from Slum Tenement
The Queen and other members of the Royal Parasites are spending their Christmas holidays at a slum tenement squat in Liverpool's dilapidated Kensington district as a change from their normal festive season retreat to their plush Sandringham estate in...
Read full storySNP Want Spaceport
The Scottish National Party, not universally renowned for its grasp on reality, and in thus keeping with tradition, have decided during their recent Parliamentary Christmas piss-up, that they want to have their own spaceport The party's Westminste...
Read full storySanta Claus hijacked by Somali pirates
Christmas will never be the same again following the news that Santa Claus has been abducted by lawless Somali pirates in second hand SUVs whilst the Yuletide legend was doing his global delivery of presents on Christmas Eve. Reports say that the...
Read full storyLocal Minister Challenges Congregation to Dress like Jesus at Christmas
The faithful of the First Christian Church of Seemed like a Good Idea at the Time have been appearing all over Coxswain, Iowa in a variety of Jesus get ups. Head Librarian Mae Buxom was arrested at the Coxswain Public Library for wearing too reve...
Read full storyPope Apologizes after 500 years of Throwing Italian Designer Shoes at Galileo
Il Papa profesori, the kinder, gentler Inquisitor Ratzinger has decided to make a clean breast of it before the new year. The target of his mea culpa is astronomer and physicist Galileo Galilei. This is the 500 year anniversary of his telescopic...
Read full storyFamous Magician Disappears
World famous stage magician, Arte Cromweiler, disappeared last week before a crowd of thousands. Mr. Cromweiler, who is notorious for making things vanish briefly, was last heard uttering what many eyewitnesses believe was some sort of incantation.
Read full storySam Ronson Hospitalized
After a short visit to a Los Angeles hospital sometimes Sunday afternoon, Samantha Ronson is thanking supporters on her MySpaceBlog. "Thanks for all your messages, I read every one" Ronson, 31, wrote in a post on Sunday night. "I'm home now and fe...
Read full storyPhil Mitchell Turns Little Ben Mitchell Into 'A Chip Off The Old Block'
Little Ben Mitchell, the son of Phil Mitchell the EastEnders thug, has come a long way since he arrived in Albert Square. When his mum, Kathy, died in South Africa in 2006, Ben came to Walford to live with his brother Ian Beale, and, at that time, wo...
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