Christmas will never be the same again following the news that Santa Claus has been abducted by lawless Somali pirates in second hand SUVs whilst the Yuletide legend was doing his global delivery of presents on Christmas Eve.
Reports say that the old man was forced down over the Gulf of Arabia and eventually dragged off in a convoy of vehicles to a mysterious location. His numerous sacks of presents were presumably the target and no news has been heard about the fate of his faithful reindeer including Prancer and Dancer and Donna and Blixen.
It is believed that Santa was about a third of the way through his annual sojourn when the hijacking occurred. Millions of children woke up Christmas morning to empty Christmas trees, unaware of the unprecedented events that occurred whilst they were sleeping.
US President-elect Barack Obama has promised to throw the full resources of the Military into tracking down and hopefully recovering the jolly fat man in the red suit as soon as possible. Gordon Brown, UK Prime-minister, says he will do nothing as he believes there is no such thing as Santa Claus. Neither, ironically, does David Beckham.
