Ancient Movie Discovered; Nominated for Academy Award
Hollywood, California -- A group of Hollywood heavy weights, on behalf of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, traveled to a remote, albeit undisclosed location this past week in order to verify rumors of an ancient movie existing on a ca...
Read full storyToday I'm sweating like....
* Gary Glitter in a creche * Michael Barrymore in the deep end * A fat man running * A fat man in a McDonalds queue * Pete Townsend in PC World...
Read full story"don't worry, we will recover dead iraqis" says Bush
On a tour of Science and Research to Iraq, Mr. Bush addressed Iraqi scientists.
Read full storyPoliticians Not Human According To New Study
U.S. anthropologists today released the results of a 10-year study which revealed that politicians are actually not human but a sub-species of humanoids. As a result, politicians have been reclassified as a new humanoid sub-species named Bastardus Co...
Read full storyNot even 'Gossip' could bring the fans...
In an ironic twist, Arkansas rockers 'The Gossip' appear to have taken the phrase 'Secret Gig' a bit too literally, when not a single fan passed through the doors to see them perform at Manchester Academy last night.
Read full storyHer Lesbian Past Not Very Interesting
Park Slope resident Jeff Tuzzo couldn't believe his good fortune when his new girlfriend revealed that she dated another girl while in college. But instead of a steamy tale of some awesome girl-on-girl action, Robin Shaeffer had nothing even remo...
Read full storyWitnesses Say Injured Diana Spoke, Left Instructions for Peerage Donors
Royal Courts of Justice, London: (Conspiracy Mess): Princess Diana uttered the words "Tell my Official Abdication Honors List nominees to give their money to the Labour Party," as she lay in the Pont d'Alma car wreckage a witness has to...
Read full storyVanessa to model for Ann Summers
It was revealed to spoof today that Vanessa Hudgens, 18, is set to be the new model for Ann Summers.
Read full storyIran's Ahmadinejad Star of Bollywood The Three Amigos II
Bollywood, The Sub Continent (IP) - Moe Ahmadinejad is making the rounds with the Television talk show circuit this week as Bollywood puts on the big push behind "The Three Amigos II" movie to be released Friday night. The leader of Iran...
Read full storyFBI agents arrive in London ahead of Litvinenko plutonium 210 death anniversary
New Scotland Yard - (Radioactive Mess): FBI agents hunting one of the world's most wanted men have arrived in London to liaise with Scotland Yard after traces of the deadly plutonium 210 toxin were traced to the White House.
Read full storyComedy? Don't make me laugh!
Following news about Lee Evans record breaking attempt to play in front of more than 15,000 people, squeaky voiced yokel Joe Pasquale has said: 'I see your 15,000, and I raise you 15,001'.
Read full storyAustralian miners get foreplay grooming tips
Sydney, Australia - (Ass Mess): Australian coal miners at the Bulge Pit in Northern Sydney are being given foreplay tips in an attempt to boost productivity.
Read full storyBrown appoints Daily Tosser chief to review Unofficial Secrets Act
Whitehole, London - (Classified Mess): Prime Monster Gorgon Brown has appointed Daily Tosser chief Paul Dacre to review the 30-year rule on releasing secret papers.
Read full storyGeraldo Rivera Puts Out Calif. Wildfires, Arrests Arsonist, Feeds Refugees
SAN DIEGO (HNN) -- No-holds-barred journalist/American hero Geraldo Rivera traveled to southern California yesterday and personally put out all of the wildfires that have devastated the region. Additionally, he made a citizen's a...
Read full storyBolton Wanderers a certainty for relegation
Championship season tickets have gone on sale today at Bolton Wanderers, after the appointment of Gary Megson at the Reebok Stadium has increased the prospect of playing lower league football next season dramatically.
Read full storyEuropean Delicacies Cause Scouse Demise
It appears Liverpool have fallen foul of a bad batch of Turkey twizzlers with defeat against Besiktas leaving their European dream hanging by a thread.
Read full storyEnglish People Don't Know Who Ron Paul Is
At least, that's the result of a street poll carried out in the capital, London, this week.
Read full storyThe Media is a Circus
My wife and I live in southern California near where the wildfires are currently burning. While we are not presently in any danger (the nearest fire is roughly fifteen miles distant) we do notice the smoky air.
Read full storyWealthy Folks Selling Things Cheap on Ebay
Pahokee, Florida (IP) - A new trend or fad has developed on ebay wherein wealthy folks are selling expensive items for next to nothing on Ebay.
Read full storyWorld Series Results not a Surprise
It was a World Series for the ages: the Green Monster, the Curse of the Bambino, Snow at Coors Field, Fenway Park, the Ghost of Bill Buckner, 21 wins in 22 games, Denver's play off sweeps, Bloody Sock 2, The Old Timers versus The First Timers, &q...
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