Her Lesbian Past Not Very Interesting

Funny story written by TJL

Thursday, 25 October 2007

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Park Slope resident Jeff Tuzzo couldn't believe his good fortune when his new girlfriend revealed that she dated another girl while in college. But instead of a steamy tale of some awesome girl-on-girl action, Robin Shaeffer had nothing even remotely stimulating to say about the semester long relationship with a girl she only identified as "Jen."

"I was a sophomore at Bryn Mawr, I met this girl named Jen in my Contemporary Lit class," Robin began. "We went to some lectures, and a few movies. I wasn't meeting any interesting guys, so I figured, why not? We saw each other for a while, and it was okay I guess, but she was really moody and she would freak if she saw me talking to anyone, which really wasn't cool. Anyway, when I came back in September, she wasn't there. I guess she transferred or dropped out, I don't know, I never heard from her again."

When Tuzzo queried her further on the sexual nature of her lesbian experience, Miss Shaeffer showed no interest in offering even one hot and nasty detail.

"I was a little disappointed she didn't tell me more about the relationship," Tuzzo commented later. "I honestly wanted to learn more about her so we could be closer, because I really find her fascinating as a person. Now it's kind of a shame I'll have to make up stuff when I tell my friends that Robin does chicks."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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