Stupid Terrorist Flies Hang-Glider Into Side Of Building - "He fluttered to earth like a dead butterfly!" Say Witnesses
New York City - Witnesses here stared in curiosity today as a man on a hang-glider smashed into the side of a New York City skyscraper, wounding one and killing one. Both of them him.
Read full storyLost Fans Await More Confusion
Fans anxiously awaiting the return of Lost next month can expect a lot more revelations and plot twists. Highly placed spies with camera phones reveal that everything you thought you knew about the plot is wrong! "Conventional wisdom is going to dro…
Read full storyK-Fed, Saddam Become YouTube Stars
Unofficial mobile phone footage showing Kevin Federline performing a sex act on former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein has become the most downloaded file on video sharing site YouTube.
Read full storyNew Study Released By Surgeon General - "We're all gonna die!"
The Surgeon General released a long-awaited report today on the future of American health, revealing his results to 500 elementary school children.
Read full storyVacuum cleaner sex attachment to 'polish' you off
Dyson, the vacuum cleaner manufacturers, have surprised the market by introducing a clip on attachment for sexually deprived men. The accessory fits on to the hose part of the up-right and is said to provide a gentle vibrating 'mouth' for men...
Read full storyNow that's magic.....mushrooms
In an attempt to revitalise his flagging career, Paul Daniels and his once beautiful wife Debbie Magee have agreed to film an experiment in social drug taking for Channel 4.
Read full storySo you think you can drive....punk?
A driving test examiner has this week sparked controversy by including a "road rage" test as part of the practical driving test. Mr Limpit, a former deputy headteacher at Hallamshire Military School in Cumbria, insists that being able to ma...
Read full storyUN post for Blairs' holiday host Gibb causes FO riot
Tampax Beach, Florida - (Ass Mess): The appointment of Tony Blair's holiday host Robin Gibb to the post of UN Emergency Relief Co-Ordinator has sparked a blazing row in the Foreign Office where senior mandarins are furious that such a fey dim-wit...
Read full storyHarry Potter & The Den Of Vice
J.K. Rowling has revealed that she intends to write an "adults only" edition of the popular Harry Potter series, to follow the last in the children's episodes, which is to be released before Christmas 2007.
Read full storyGirl Guides' guide to binge drinking published
London - (Rioters): The Girl Guides Movement has published its very own guide to binge drinking, under-age sex and successful dumping of has-been boyfriends.
Read full storySaddam's Ghost to Star in Celebrity Big Brother 7
Whilst tension is mounting over the names of the entrants to Celebrity Big Brother 5, our ace reporter can reveal that a surprise celebrity is to be the ghost of Saddam Hussein.
Read full storyI hate this job, says Iraq's PM
Nouri Maliki today told journalists that he can't wait to leave his job as the political head of Iraq. "It's a rubbish job and nobody seems to like me" he protested.
Read full storySaddam Hanging Video Official Offered Contract
Jan 3, Baghdad - Disney has confirmed offering the official that shot Saddam's Hanging Video a contract to shoot the hanging of Saddam's co-defendants this Thursday.
Read full storyKen Bans 4 X 4's From Capital In New Initiative Against Hoity-Toitys
A secret memo from the office of the King of London, Ken Livingstone, to his minions, has fallen into the hands of The Spoof and it looks like bad news for gas guzzling 4 x 4 drivers.
Read full storyQatari Freeper vandals blamed for online encyclopaedia sabotage
Doha, Qatar - (Rioters): They're the cyberspace equivalent of graffiti vandals and they originate in the tiny gas-rich Gulf emirate of Qatar. And now online encyclopaedia Wikipedia has banned them from ever darkening its portals again after a pr...
Read full storyRatzinger's star role in new Vatican opera 'Hell Hath No Fury'
Vatican City - (Ass Mess): Pope Joseph Ratzinger is to take the lead role of Satan in a new lavish opera by Vatican composer Monsignor Marco Frisina based on Dante's Divine Comedy provisionally entitled "Hell Hath No Fury".
Read full storyYour Talking Out Uranus Says Sir Patrick
An amazing development today as NASA releases a photograph taken by the Hubble Space Telescope.
Read full storyBrown Wants it All
In his speech to an audience at the Bakewell Tart Inn off the M6 yesterday, Chancellor Gordon Brown outlined new tax measures designed to protect Civil Service pensions and benefits.
Read full storyTara Reid accepted into Mensa
Tara Reid was accepted into the Mensa group today for achieving genius status resulting from her attempt at counting down to New Years at a Chicago club celebration. Mensa is a very exclusive club admitting only the brightest 2 percent of the popu...
Read full storyHarry Potter In Name Mix-up Could All Get Very Nasty
Spectacle wearing schoolboy, Barry Potter, is getting near the end of his tether with people mistaking him for spectacle wearing schoolboy and boy wizard, Harry Potter.
Read full storyEllo Ello Ello. What's All This Ere Then?
Surprising news today as The Independent Police Complaints Commission says it has identified a case which could be heard in public.
Read full storyIsn't Hanging by the Neck 'til Dead Enough?
Burns and Glanz of the NY Times (I swear that's their real names and no! this is not an article about the Clap!) report that there is considerable outrage about the taunting and teasing Saddam Hussein had to endure on his way to the gallows.
Read full storyKnight Breaks NCAA Temper Tantrum Record
Bob Knight stomped his way into the record books on January 1 by throwing his 880th temper tantrum as a NCAA basketball coach. It took Knight 41 years to reach this illustrious record, and he celebrated by screaming at officials and slapping players...
Read full storyBeleaguered By Demands for Redesigned Cartoon Characters, Disney to Launch New Website
Interest groups have called for changes in Disney characters to align them with 21st century demands and sensibilities.
Read full storyAmericans Screwed; Surgeons Invest In Lowes and Home Depot to Offset Costs And Repair Damaged Reputations
US Surgeons today were reported to be investing in hardware giants, Lowes and Home Depot to off-set costs of expensive surgery and repair damaged reputations. The move comes in the wake of a NY Times report last Saturday that surgeons were investing...
Read full storyReptilians denouncer Icke partnered MMR jab quack
London - (ReUterus): David Icke the global mind control expert who first identified the Bush family, the Queen Mother, Kris Kristofferson and Boxcar Willie as spineless reptilian overlords from a Babylonian Brotherhood of psuedo-humanoid sub-species...
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