Written by Bob Muppet

Wednesday, 3 January 2007

image for Saddam's Ghost to Star in Celebrity Big Brother 7
It just goes to show, you can't keep an evil dictator down

Whilst tension is mounting over the names of the entrants to Celebrity Big Brother 5, our ace reporter can reveal that a surprise celebrity is to be the ghost of Saddam Hussein.

Having recently been executed, and having no other commitments, it was an easy task for the management of the hit reality programme to persuade him to take part.

Arrangements have been made for several top spiritualist mediums to be present in the house to explain to the other celebrity inmates what the spirit of Saddam is up to.

There will also be Ouija boards in each room to allow individual contact, if required.

Amongst the top secret list of celebrities thought to be entering the house are a number who have had close contact with the spirit world.

Readers will be familiar with David Hasselhof's spooky relationship with a talking, black car and it is thought that he has been selected because of this skill.

Saddam will bring a new level of mischief to the B.B. house due to his first hand knowledge of pain and suffering.

Feisty Jade Goody, another bringer of pain and suffering, is thought to be a possible house guest, and the interaction between the dead dictator and the celebrity will be explosive.

One name that will not be going into the house is Cherie Blair, the wife of the British Prime Minister. It has been revealed that an attempt was made to bribe Davina McCall, the host, with £5 million to allow Cherie to become famous, but unlike our bent British politicians, she refused to accept the bung.

So, all eyes will be on the Big Brother's Big Bad Baghdad Butcher as he makes his presence felt on Channel 4 Tonight.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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