Tampax Beach, Florida - (Ass Mess): The appointment of Tony Blair's holiday host Robin Gibb to the post of UN Emergency Relief Co-Ordinator has sparked a blazing row in the Foreign Office where senior mandarins are furious that such a fey dim-witted has-been 1970s warbler has been given the prestigious $250,000 per annum sinecure when their own recommended appointee, a Mr David Irving, has been tossed aside 'like some holocaust-denying pariah'.
The furore has now entered day two and the FO has stepped up the pressure by issuing a reminder today that the post carries with it the prestigious title of the UN's Under-Secretary General for Inhumanitarian Affairs, a title surely made in heaven for Mr Irving.
But Blair aides are adamant that Robin Gibb will now move into the position.
Citing a list of superlatives, a Number 10 spokesman said of Gibb: "He has no prior experience and no relevant knowledge of the issues. He's a Tony crony. They are mates. They go on holiday together. It's the way to get things done around here."
The Prime Monster has been accused of cronyism before, notably when he appointed Lord Levy - his principal alibi in a 1980s embezzlement, extortion, racketeering, fraud and conspiracy to pervert lawsuit which he lost miserably - as his blind trust portfolio bagman, Middle East Envoy, chief WMD theory salesman and top financial director in the Peerages-for-Sperm-Donors fiasco.
Robin Gibb is exected to take up the post on 1st April.
