Hitler still Honorary Citizen at this Year's G8 Summit Town
Bad Doberan, Baltic Sea - (Rotters): One of the chief attractions to lure President George W Bush to Germany's hosting of the G8 Summit this year has been revealed as a historic connection to the Fuherer.
Read full storyWiccans send letter to Pope asking for holiday back.
Vatican City- Today the Pope was shocked to recieve a letter from the Wiccans who usually keep to themselves. He was even more shocked when he opened it. Inside was a single page with but one paragraph on it.
Read full storyTop Secret document leaked.
The following document is the results of a study conducted by the Department of Homeland Security last Christmas season. It deals with a threat that Americans deal with every year. This document was classified Top Secret but was leaked when someone accidentally left it in the copier machine at a local post office.
Read full storyHave you heard the Good News about God?
God plans to come out of his self imposed exile and is planning to appear to the public for the first time for over two thousand years. This message was delivered by the angel Gabriel, to world leaders and practising stigmatics at lunchtime yesterday...
Read full storyVegetarian Reveals: If Plants Were Cute and Cuddly or Screamed When Killed, She Wouldn't Eat Them Either
Seattle, Washington - A high-ranking PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) official admitted today that if plants were cuddly and cute, or if they screamed when plucked or stepped on, she wouldn't eat them either.
Read full storyFat Kids Eat and Smoke
Today, a ban has come into force that prevents unhealthy food products being advertised on children's programmes.
Read full storyGone With Gonzales
Similar to Scooter Libby, Alberto Gonzales just plain forgot quite a lot that happened under his watch as head of the Justice Department. Like personally approving the dismissal of eight U.S. attorneys who somehow were not marching to the White House...
Read full storyChaney Rents Capitol
The Bush Administration announced today that it had sold the Corporate Naming rights of the Capitol Building in Washington D.C. to a Chinese American Entrepreneur by the name of Mr. Chin Lu.
Read full story'The Spoof' most accurate online news source
NEW YORK--The parody news site "The Spoof" (www.thespoof.com) is being hailed as one of the best sources for current events available online. Student researchers at New York University have completed a year-long study of the accuracy of on...
Read full storyHillary Clinton Considers Having Extramarital Affair
Since a study was released that said men who cheat on their wives make better presidents, an inside source says Hillary Clinton is considering having an extramarital affair.
Read full storyBarack Obama Considers Having Extramarital Affair
Since a study was released that said men who cheat on their wives make better presidents, an inside source says that Barack Obama is considering having an extramarital affair.
Read full storyBush Announces New Diplomatic Initiative
The White House announced today that President Bush has decided to take a Lesson from History and Establish "Normalicys" with Iran...
Read full storyBritney Spears and Kevin Federline Finalize Divorce Decree Details
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are now officially ex-husband and ex-wife. They finished working out the details of their divorce yesterday in Los Angeles with their attorneys present.
Read full storyHilary Duff Feels Pressure to be Thin
Actress, singer, and teen starlet Hilary Duff says that she feels pressure from the media and fans to stay thin, even with the mixed messages about current waif models. "Everyone expects me to be skinny and have my ribs sticking out, but at the...
Read full storyOpus Dei hystery triumph as schools told: "No More Crusades, No More Holocaust"
London - (Rotters): UK teachers have been ordered to drop all reference to the Crusades and the Holocaust as Opus Dei members pledge to wipe out the UK Labour Party's staggering £30 million election overdraft and fix Iran's President Ahmadine...
Read full storyAlberto Gonzales to be replaced with Larry Seidlin
Washington - (Panic Press): The Justice Department has been ordered to sound out Florida Judge Larry Seidlin as a credible replacement for beleagured Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.
Read full storyScotland Yardies To Help Out In Annoying Woolmer Murder
Police in Jamaica investigating the suspicious murder of Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolworth will get extra help with their enquiries this week, when UK police fly out to the murder scene.
Read full storyBond star Craig voted top Carry On lookalike tosser
London - (Rioters): A top selling UK men's magazine has voted latest James Bond movie heart throb Daniel Craig as the entertainment industry's number one tosser and a leading contender for Carry On films' Sid James lookalike competition.
Read full storyCliff Richard's hit to help Ratzinger be declared Living God
Vatican - (Ass Press): In a concerted equality drive with Pope JP2's sainthood bid Cliff Richard waded into the campaign today to have Pope Raztinger declared the world's Living God with a re-working of one of his most famous 1950s songs.
Read full storySexism and the City movie setback
Hollywood - (Assinine Press): A teenage boys' protest group is callng for the cancellation of the much-hyped Sex and the City movie on the grounds that it won't be any different from the TV show "which is sexist, demeaning, demoralising...
Read full storyManchester United Star Boots Ball Into Fan's Face
Manchester United's grotesque England international defender Rio Ferdinand, who is part-Irish, is in hot water with Police after an unsavoury incident with a member of the Old Trafford crowd. The incident, which came during the second half of Unit...
Read full storyEurovision drag act angers Iranians
Tehran - (Ass Press): Angry Iranian nationalists have protested against the selection of a controversial drag queen to represent their country in the Eurovision Song Contest.
Read full storyBush announces he will run for re-election
Washington, D.C. - At a Presidential press conference today, Bush announced to confused reporters that he will run for re-election. When one reporter asked the President if he couldn't count to two, Bush laughed and then had that reporter beaten...
Read full storyHillary Clinton already locking in votes.
Even though she isn't officially running for election in 2008 yet, Hillary Clinton is already locking in votes from a key group of voters. Her target audience? Feminists.
Read full storyKarl Rove Claims: I am the Reincarnation of Ben Franklin!
US political observers and historians have been racking their brains over the question: "Who does Karl Rove remind us of?!" His behavior has been compared to every Machiavellian ball-buster from Richelieu to Savanarola to Rasputin.
Read full storyBarney Frank Named Barney Fag of the Year!
PBS has awarded the Barney Fag of the Year Award to numerous queer folk who have emulated the gay qualities of the famous purple dinosaur known as Barney.
Read full storySGT Christophe of the North West Mounties Wins Gold medal in SkinDiving!
JRN Omligo has been the World Muff Diving Champion for years now. Every Muff Diving expert had him pegged for the Gold in Beijing in 2008. That is until Muff diving judges began to examine the new sport more carefully.
Read full storySolomon Island's Tsunami Causes Discovered
Fox News revealed today that the tsunami (tidal wave) that struck the Solomon Islands in the South Pacific was caused by an earthquake. According to newsman Bill O'Reilly, the cause of that earthquake was Rosie O'Donnell body surfing while v...
Read full story