JRN Omligo has been the World Muff Diving Champion for years now. Every Muff Diving expert had him pegged for the Gold in Beijing in 2008. That is until Muff diving judges began to examine the new sport more carefully.
Sir Nigel Goinsdowndeer explains that the Muff Diving Olympic Committee (MDOC) has been receiving multiple complaints about whether it is Muff Diving if in fact there is no muff down there!
Sir Nigel consulted Lord Connie Lingus, Muff Diving's oldest afficionado: "In my day a muff was a muff was a muff! I've been down under in India, Africa, Australia and the US colonies and I've never encountered this shaved beaver the newest competitors are talking about. . ."
IOC officials are debating whether they should divide the contest in Beijing into Muff and UnMuff diving. JRN Ombligo is strongly objecting to the adjustment: "I've spent my life navigating my way through some of the toughest muffs in Christendom and now Olympic glory will be granted to some wanker who goes down on some old baldy. . . it just ain't right!"
Skindiving's latest Champion, SGT C denounced Ombligo's blind adherance to tradition: "That old timer should try diving into the shaven beaver. Any one can hold on to the furry muff. . . it takes real skill to perform on the slick surface of muffless terrain!"
