Christiano Ronaldo Named Greatest Footballer in the World... But a Bit of a Prick
Christiano Ronaldo, of Manchester United and Portugal, has been named by many as the greatest footballer in the world at the moment, unfortunately he also has a personality.
Read full storyBirkhead asks Judge Larry Seidlin to be Dannielynn's godfather
Nassau, Bahamas - (Ass Mess): Jubilant Dannielynn dad Larry Birkhead is to ask Florida Judge Larry Seidlin, who ruled in Anna Nicole Smith's burial last month, to be the baby's godfather.
Read full storyManchester United Disqualified From Champions League, Roma Through to Semi's
Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson, has dubbed the 7-1 thrashing of Roma at Old Trafford as 'The best night of European football we've had here" and few Man U fans would disagree. However, it seems UEFA is not amused.
Read full storyLisa Nowak: My International Space Station Bondage Hell
Orlando, Florida - (Ass Mess): A NASA random search of Lisa Nowak's International Space Station locker found hundreds of bondage pictures featuring the love-tug astronut and her sex threesome partners Colleen Shipman and Commander Bill Old-Feline...
Read full storyWikipedia founder says website is Ratneresque 'load of old bollox'
Cyberspace - (ShockHorror Press): The founder of ailing internet encyclopaedia Wikipedia, Larry Sanger, has told the press today that the site is a 'load of old bollox' in what UK press sources have described as a classic Ratner moment.
Read full storyAustralian Food On The Menu At World Cup Cricket
Organisers at the 2007 Cricket World Cup in the West Indies are anticipating a long run in the competition, and a possible Final appearance, for Australia, and have planned catering facilities accordingly.
Read full storyGod sues GM Scientists over Breach of Copyright
The Lord God Himself came down from heaven today to make his first appearance in court over His civil dispute with geneticists.
Read full story'Girls Gone Wild' Founder to Make Compromising Videos of Janet Reno
After seven women sued "Girls Gone Wild" founder Joe Francis, claiming they were under-age when filmed in sexually provocative situations on a Florida beach, a federal judge sentenced him to make videos of Janet Reno baring her breasts.
Read full storyDisgust at India pervy periods probe
Mumbai - (Bleedin' Obvious Press): India's women civil servants are threatening an all out strike after being asked to reveal their menstrual sex secrets in official surveys run by the Ministry of Chastity.
Read full storyHank Aaron Refuses To Be There If Barry Bonds Breaks Home Run Record
Hank Aaron has 755 home runs; Barry Bonds has 735. If Balco Barry manages to pass Hammerin' Hank, Mr. Aaron will not be in attendance at the game.
Read full storyExtreme Makeover: Hillary Clinton = 'ALL American' Candidate
Elk Droppings, MT (TheSpoof.com) - Here's the straight poop right from the scoop! Well into 'her' cross-country whirlwind tour-de-farce democratic presidential candidacy campaign, Hillary 'Remember Bill' Clinton m...
Read full storyClub Masturbation Debuts In Japan
SHIBUYA, JAPAN-(KOGYARUGO DIGEST) Japan's answer to the spread of Aids has been solved by a new concept in social night club scene technology. Club Masturbation is a place where contraceptives are not needed or...
Read full storyJohnny Cash House Gutted By Barry Gibb
The lakeside Tennessee home of late country music superstar Johnny Cash has been destroyed in a fire.
Read full story"Excuse Me, It's Dead." Say Experts
The Oxford English Dictionary, arbiter of correct usage in the English language, is to remove the phrase "Excuse me" declaring it to be officially obsolete.
Read full storyTelepathic Cats
In a recent scientific study, researchers found that cats have the ability to communicate telepathically. The study, produced by Harvard Medical School, has brought on a lot of controversy.
Read full storyNaomi Campbell is a Dirty, Filthy Scrubber!
In her first interview since completing her community service, Naomi Campbell has revealed that her PR people have told her that the experience was a humbling one.
Read full storyPlans Revealed for World's Largest Casino in Las Vegas
Balmy Resorts Inc. has announced plans to build the world's biggest ever casino in Las Vegas, Nevada. The corporation has purchased a 500-acre tract of land at the end of the Strip and will soon begin construction of a "four billion dollar g...
Read full storyBush declares war on Iran.
United States of America has officially declared war on Iran. A joint declaration from the White House and the Pentagon stated that as from 03:00 Mid Texan Time, the USA is at war with Iran.
Read full storyGene found that makes fat girls so bossy.
A new genetic breakthrough has found the mechanism that makes fat girls so bossy. Working for the last nine years on a drug for reducing obesity in teenagers, a London based specialist found the chromosome responsible.
Read full storyTheSpoof.com writers in rush to beat each other to write "ring of fire" related gags.
The news has been a bit pants recently and stories worthy of taking the piss out of are a bit thin on the ground.
Read full storyFDA Certifies GM Corn As Rat Poison
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The US FDA on Wednesday certified that Monsanto's Genetically Modified (GM) corn MON863 is an "excellent" rat poison since FDA studies show that it causes kidney and liver toxicity in animal studies.
Read full storyChina's Wen buys over hostile Japan.
Wen Jiabao flied to Japan recently on the first visit by a Chinese premier in almost seven years.
Read full storyKeith Richards in pact with Devil
The ageing Rolling Stone admitted yesterday, that he had made an agreement with Lucifer about his longevity. Having played with hellfire for many years he decided to make a pact with the Devil and offered his soul for everlasting life. It was a hard...
Read full story"Nappy Headed Hos!" A New Breakfast Cereal From Don Imus
You'd think after all the bad press Don Imus has been receiving he'd try to lay low for a while - But Don Imus is not that kind of racist.
Read full storyYankee Fans Boo A- -Rod After Near Perfect Start!
With deafening chants of "You're Not Perfect!" and "What only One Grand Salami?!" Rabid Yankee fans have continued to torment best player in the game Alex Rodriquez. A-Rod has had an unprecedented hot start off the blocks this...
Read full storyNFL Issues New Stricter Penalties!
In the wake of professional football players' charges for crimes and misdemeanors that come close to rivaling President Bush, league officials have released a stricter code of conduct. Possession of a deadly weapon is now punished by 5 yards and...
Read full storyImus Spends Two Week Suspension In The Hood!
Instead of his usual retreats to sundrenched Carribean Islands and weeks on the spiked leashes of nappy haired "rough girls", Don Imus will be spending two weeks in the hood to see that its hard out there for a nappy-haired bigmouth.
Read full storyLGBT/GT/SGIQ Protests Added Letters to Minority Groups Name
There seems to be no end to the letters signifying new and newly emerging sexual orientation and identifiers.
Read full storyKarl Rove Allegedly Spikes Reporters Cocktails
Embattled Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove allegedly spiked a punch bowl with LSD at a White House gathering this afternoon, according to several reporters at the scene.
Read full storyCanadian couch charged with racism
QUEBEC, CANADA--A rather large couch in Canada has been charged with racism and violation of hate speech laws after a label discovered on the bottom of a seat cushion was revealed to read the colour of the couch was "nigger brown." When Doris Moor...
Read full storyMilkman Race Milktruck across Glorious Kazakstan!
All ov duh braf citizry ov Glorious Kazakstan luvd vedy, vedy much the excitement race tween Milktruck and milkman. Milosh Galoshes exclaimed: "Dis iz more much fun than my lazt ten handparty!"...
Read full storyBlack Sambo and The Tigress
Lil Black Sambo ventured into the jungle one day to seek his fortune. Much to his surprise he found armfuls of treasure. Weighed down by his unexpected great good fortune, the little black boy struggled to find his way out of the unfamiliar wilderness. Before long he realized he had been going in circles. Just then a ferocious tigress laden with her own valuables emerged from the dark jungle and c...
Read full storyBee Gee Barry Gibb in shock as fire destroys Johnny Cash house
Hendonsville, Tennessee - (Armageddon Press): The ghost of country and western giant Johnny Cash was seen hovering ominously over the blackened remains of his former lakeside Tennessee home that was destroyed in a mysterious fire as its new owner Bee...
Read full storyFitzie stalks Gonzales
Washington DC - (Deep Throat Press): Fearsome Chicago Special Prosecutor Patrick FitzGerald must have the US Justice Department's most enigmatic, inscrutable and totally impregnable of smiles this week.
Read full storyImus to Become Black Woman, Rapper
(SEACAUCUS, NJ) -- CBS Radio and MSNBC talk show host, shock jock, and gangsta rap aficionado Don Imus, 83 (liver, 113) has told members of his immediate family, a few perplexed kids at the Imus ranch, a company of marines working out at the Imus Int...
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