Lisa Nowak: My International Space Station Bondage Hell

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 11 April 2007

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Standard-isse NASA manacle typical of any ISS locker

Orlando, Florida - (Ass Mess): A NASA random search of Lisa Nowak's International Space Station locker found hundreds of bondage pictures featuring the love-tug astronut and her sex threesome partners Colleen Shipman and Commander Bill Old-Feline.

The evidence was released today by prosecutors alleging the NASA pilot played out a sick fantasy in attempting to kidnap her love rival Shipman after driving from Houston to Florida 'dressed only in an adult diaper'.

Other evidence presented in court include the pepper spray she used on Shipman as well as a BB gun, new steel mallet, a claw hammer, thirty yards of duck tape, surgical scissors, an enema kit, fur-trimmed handcuffs, a latex Batman cloak, pink rubber pantyhose, a leather whip, lurex leg-irons, a two pint tube of KY Gel, ten condoms, a homeopathic vaginal discharge remedy, two scalpels and rubber tubing "possibly for use in colonic irrigation-type sex games aboard the Space Station."

Nowak has pleaded Not Guilty to attempted kidnapping, burglary with assault and battery.

Her defence lawyer has said all items found on his client were part of standard ISS issue kit for long-term Space Station workers and were designed to alleviate periods of boredom during dark lonely nights orbiting the Earth.

The case continues.


NASA released Nowak from the astronaut corps a month after her arrest. Her trial has been moved to September.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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