Written by Tom Taylor

Wednesday, 11 April 2007

image for Manchester United Disqualified From Champions League, Roma Through to Semi's
"UEFA are right. It was very mean." - Wayne Rooney

Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson, has dubbed the 7-1 thrashing of Roma at Old Trafford as 'The best night of European football we've had here" and few Man U fans would disagree. However, it seems UEFA is not amused.

In an incredible turn of events UEFA have decided to disqualify United for what they've deemed 'meanness'.

"The game was over in about twenty minutes..." Said a UEFA spokesman "... any team of good sports would have sat back at that stage and defended. Certainly, once they had they're fourth and crushed the spirits of the opposing team, their fans and their friends and family watching, they could have stopped and been nice. However, good sportsmanship and Christiano Ronaldo do not go together."

UEFA's chief concern is in the appalling scoreline.

"After scoring their sixth goal, did they think to themselves 'Maybe Totti's children are watching this?' No! They brought on another striker! It's just disgusting. We've decided to allow Roma through to the next round on compassionate grounds, a compassion sadly lacking on the pitch at Old Trafford."

- Tom Taylor

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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