Naomi Campbell is a Dirty, Filthy Scrubber!

Funny story written by matthatt

Wednesday, 11 April 2007

image for Naomi Campbell is a Dirty, Filthy Scrubber!
Forensics check Cambell's phone for traces of blood and vitriol.

In her first interview since completing her community service, Naomi Campbell has revealed that her PR people have told her that the experience was a humbling one.

The millionairess model said she had someone sweep, cleaned walls, tables and orifices but denied reports that she had been scrubbing toilets with someone else's head.

Cambell said: "I've been told it was humbling for me and I just got to be with people and learn a lot about people that I would never really get to meet in my job. Everyone was well-mannered and very straight up with me because they were so scared shitless that I would wig out and chuck a hissy fit and I was straight up with them, right up to bashing them over the mother*&5%£ head with my cell phone."

The Streatham born media whore was sentenced to serve the time as punishment for throwing a mobile phone at former housekeeper Ana Scolavino.

During her sentence, the supermodel even managed to start a new fashion trend - the Christian Louboutin stiletto boots she wore at the start of her community service became one of the most in-demand items for inmates at female prisons around the globe. Janet the slasher McGovern said "she really is my hero, that biatch, look at them fcuking boots, I would kill for boots like that, oh! hang on a sec, I already did, that's why I'm here" Doris "Face Eater" Glover echoed "the slashers" sentiments by saying "If she was in my prison, I would eat more than her face, I bet she is right filthy, that one"

Campbell revealed, "Louboutin says he got 1, 200 orders from that day. . . I don't think he was planning to make those boots and now he is, or at least he has to or I'm gonna bust his chops"

The model is reportedly seeing actor Gerard Butler, star of the movie 300.

The couple, who attended the Sony Ericsson Open tennis finals in Miami last week, are rumoured to be eager to keep their alleged relationship under wraps because although Butler acts like a big man on film, he is wetting himself at the thought of Naomi getting out of hand or her cell phone being in her hand, "seriously, I'm crapping myself dude" said Butler, "don't tell her I said this, but I flinch every fricking time she makes a call"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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