Hank Aaron Refuses To Be There If Barry Bonds Breaks Home Run Record

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Wednesday, 11 April 2007

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Hank Aaron Refuses To Be There If Barry Bonds Breaks Home Run Record
Balco Barry may pass Hammerin' Hank this season

Hank Aaron has 755 home runs; Barry Bonds has 735. If Balco Barry manages to pass Hammerin' Hank, Mr. Aaron will not be in attendance at the game.

When asked why he would avoid the stadium, Aaron offered the following statement:

"Knowing that it would be Balco Barry passing me would be a bitter pill to swallow. He can have his shot at the record, if that is what he wants to call it, but without my support. Please don't needle me about this; I don't want my name drug through the mud just because I won't be there. Shoot, I'm 72 years old. I can't be chasing after every wannabe. My health won't permit it."

Bonds, in an apparent fit of 'roid rage, screamed "I'll pass that old man. I'll whoop his ass. I didn't do no drugs. Yeah, my hair fell out, but it ain't because of no steroids. Yeah, I got man boobs, but it ain't because of no chemicals. I'm all me!"

Seeing the swinging baseball bat in the hands of the 350 pound, irate athlete, men from the commissioners office at the ballpark to collect a urine sample offered to pee in the cup themselves.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more