Queen's Hogmanay heart attack as Wacko arrives at Sandringham
Sandringham, Norfolk - (Ass Mess): Paramedics have rushed to Sandringham House after the royal butler dialled 999 and said the Queen had had a heart attack. The coronary happened shortly HM was told Michael Jackson had arrived unexpectedly demanding...
Read full storySatirist "King David" Cleans Aquarium; Has Big Adventure
American naturalist and sometime hobbyist, "King David" was reported to have changed the water in his goldfish tank for the first time today in a thousand years. The satirist apparently complained at not being able to see the fish and feare...
Read full storySaddam's Noose for Sale on E-Bay
In an attempt to raise money and show independence from Coalition moneys, the new Iraqi government has put Saddam Hussein's hangman's noose up for sale on E-bay.
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Pole Dances at New York Strip Club
Hollywood Party Girl Lindsay Lohan was seen pole dancing last night at Scores, a New York City strip club. Witnesses say that the young woman came up out of the audience, grabbed onto the pole, and gave it a whirl. This was apparently prompted by...
Read full storySanta Finally Makes it to Denver .. Kids Not Quite Elated
Santa, after telling Rudolph "I'm get'n too OLD for this crap", finally made his delivery to Denver last night, 6 days late. Claus, back on Christmas night being saddled with not only a blinding snowstorm but 2 totally wast...
Read full storyBush In Job Switch
Hollywood, D.C. - If President Bush worked driving bus for Greyhound, and was suppose to take a load of passengers to Las Vegas, but ended up in Disneyland, gave it a second try, and drove to Salt Lake City, then on the third attempt, landed in Aspen, Colorado, chances are he'd lose his job. If he defended his driving and map reading skills by suggesting he send a team of wise men to Las Vega...
Read full storyBritain Is Targeted By Weather Terrorists Again
Following on from their opening salvo a few weeks ago when they visited a thick fog on Britain, the Misty Action Warriors terror group, have now summoned up storms and torrential rain to sweep across Britain.
Read full storyTony Blair: So I'm Margaret Thatcher, You Got Me
In a clever deception that has fooled the world for decades Prime Minister Tony Blair revealed that not only was Margaret Thatcher's death a hoax but that he, Blair WAS in fact Mrs Thatcher .. in disguise. "And a very cl...
Read full storyFathers For Justice Target Big Ben's Bongs (Maybe)
Fears tonight that pressure group, Fathers for Justice, have targeted tonight's Big Ben Bongs, scheduled to celebrate the arrival of 2007 around about midnight.
Read full storyLondon's Shame Happy New Year DIY Party
Mayor and King of London, Ken Livingstone, is today defending once more the fact that one of the world's premier capitals is not putting on any sort of decent official New Year celebrations.
Read full storySaddam buried next to Ronnie Raygun
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): The remains of toppled Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's CIA files are to be buried alongside those of Ronnie Raygun after pleas from Queen Elizabeth for the whole disgusting sordid business to be torched together with G...
Read full storySpoof Writer Concerned About Literalism In "Image Gallery"; Fears Could Lead To Bastardizing English Language, "Old School vs "New School" Argument
It was reported today that Spoof writer "King David" was concerned with the amount of literalism in reference to the site's "image gallery" which other writer's don't feel has enough variety and has been under scrutiny...
Read full storySaddam Hussein's hangman's noose to be auctioned on EBay
World Wide Web, Well, you should have seen it coming, it seemed inevitable, yes someone did it. Saddam Hussein's hangman's noose is up for sale on EBay for an amazing opening bid of $200,000.00...
Read full storyShakira dislocates her entire body
Hollywood Ca. Shakira was admitted to Cedar Sinai Hospital this afternoon complaining of body pains that resulted from over rehearsal.
Read full storyBalloon Maker Gearing Up For Big Parade; Feels God Is Very Much Alive
It was reported today that southern hot-air balloon maker, Levon Tostig, owner and operator of the incredibly successful Tostig family balloon business, "Madman Across The Water" has his family ready for what looks to be one of the best New...
Read full storyBlair family holiday video nasties on sale on e-Bay
Tampax, Florida - (Ass Mess): Poor old cash-strapped Cherie is having to flog off the Blair family holiday video nasties on an internet auction site in a bid to stump up the cash to pay for their latest holiday jaunt at the home of 70s crooner Robin...
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