Sunday, 31 December 2006

image for Lindsay Lohan Pole Dances at New York Strip Club
This dancing does not in any way represent the bump and grind that Lindsay was doing at a strip club.

Hollywood Party Girl Lindsay Lohan was seen pole dancing last night at Scores, a New York City strip club. Witnesses say that the young woman came up out of the audience, grabbed onto the pole, and gave it a whirl.

This was apparently prompted by her new movie, where she plays a stripper and pole dancer. Said Lohan, "I am a method actress. I don't believe that I can play a role unless I live that roll. If that means I have to turn tricks with drunk truck drivers, I do it. If that means I have to get naked in front of a bunch of sailors in port, I do it. If that means I give lap dances to wall street junior executives in board rooms, I do it. If it means I have to service a group of cowboys in Texas, then line 'em up!"

When the strippers in the club were asked their response to her dancing, they laughed. "Linday called us whores in an e-mail," said one. "She's just proving that she's a higher priced hooker with smaller talents and limited skills."

Lohan was not very good at her act, kicking over several beers as she twirled on the bar top pole. She did, however, replace the drinks for the customers. The club's tip sheets recorded that she only collected $86 in tips from an average crowd, most of whom admitted to having already seen her breasts on line before anyway.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Lindsay Lohan

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
90 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more