Creative Writing Staff Fired at University of Iowa; Realtors To Teach
Iowa City, IA--The University of Iowa today fired all faculty members in its prestigious creative writing program and replaced them with realtors who had $4 million or more of residential sales during the preceding year.Read full story
Michael Moore Has A Pretty Great Body
You know, Mr. Moore has been getting a lot of mean comments lately about his weight, but I personally think he's a great looking man. Plus, he's definitely got the brains to boot; he's a writer and a director! How many other people can say that? Not many! First of all, let's talk about that face. He's got a real friendly face with those beautiful eyes, and whenever he l...Read full story
Iraq wants to go back to old government
IRAQ -- In a stunning announcement that sent newly appointed Iraqi officials to the bathroom hurling their most recent meal, Iraqi transition spokesperson Aji Aji Ben Munno al-Scirocco said everyone in the country has changed their minds and "wo...Read full story
Mayor says Manhattan closed for convention
NEW YORK CITY -- The New York City Police Department plans to shut down all of Manhattan during the Republic National Convention in August.Read full story
Long line of running mates for Kerry in Hollywood
LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- Presidential candidate John Kerry showed up for a rally of support from Hollywood and surprisingly announced that Billy Crystal will be his first choice for a running mate.Read full story
President Bush Proud To Tout Record As President:
"I liberated the American people from the peace and prosperity of the Clinton regime."...Read full story
Reflections on the Titanic
Recently, the US and British governments signed a treaty to protect the final resting place of the Titanic. If there is a more storied ship, I wish someone would tell me about it because I can't think of one myself. Anyhow, the recent news on the Titanic flooded me with emotion and prompted me to try to find an appropriate way to commemorate that great ship and all the souls that were...Read full story
Putting Out Is The Only Way To Get Boys To Like You.
NEW YORK, NY- Martha Hughes was your typical good girl in high school; 4.0, never partied, and no "cool" boyfriend. She was the epitome of the high school nerd who we all made fun because of their hair, acne, or clothes. "I was your typical loner... I didn't want to get screwed up in life, and all those people really scared me." said Martha about her old life. "I ma...Read full story
Justice Scalia Says the US is Ducked
"If it is reasonable to think that a Supreme Court Justice can be bought so cheap, the Nation is in deeper trouble than I had imagined," Supreme Court Justice Scalia said today, referring to the recent court ruling that did not require Scal...Read full story
New Way To Fight Hunger: Eat the Homeless.
Presidency Now To Target Homelessness and World Hunger With New Bill.Read full story
Fears Over Swiss Health Service
Speaking at the Fourth Ministerial Conference of Environment and Health in Budapest today a spokesperson for the World Health Organisation (WHO) expressed its concern for the state of health-care in Switzerland.Read full story
Christopher Hitchens admits he's a little bit Michael Moore
By James Dean Bradfield, (BBC Online) - "To describe this film as a piece of crap would be to run the risk of a discourse that would never again rise above the excremental" wrote self-declared iconoclast Christopher Hitchens in the online m...Read full story
Where the Hell is Lowestoft?
A team of researchers at Cambridge's big University have long been occupied with a particularly knotty problem: just where the hell is Lowestoft? For two and a half decades now, Professor Tony Slip and his nine-strong team of dedicated staff hav...Read full story
Nudeism Made Easy
Naturism, the concept of doffing one’s clothing and experiencing life as our Creator intended, has always appealed to me, and on many occasions I have even become what one might call a “closet nudist.” Before and after showers, when dressing or undressing and in certain other unmentionable situations, I am sometimes to be found wholly unclad. While this may shock and disappoint some, let me tell...Read full story
Martha Stewart: Change National Terror Alert Colors
NEW YORK (June 25) --- Domestication dominatrix Martha Stewart today called upon Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge to "get rid of those harsh, scary colors in the national terror alert system" and use instead softer, muted pastel shades that will...Read full story
Bush Irish visit: satanic weapons of Mass destruction found
(Dromoland Castle, Eire; Friday 25 June) Irish police investigating a cult branch of the notorious satanic Hellfire Club have uncovered fourth century Atlantic Sea Scrolls which claim that the Catholic Mass is a cannibalistic rite initiated by hun...Read full story
Texas Town to be a 'Safe Haven'
Dryfield, Texas - Dryfield Town Meeting on June 10 voted to adopt a 13-year-old Safe Haven home rule petition, which says the town will petition the Legislature to amend the Texas general laws to allow men to drop off their child at a fire station or...Read full story
The Aisles of Paradise
Once upon a time the church was the great meeting place, where the Scriptures were read to allow us to ponder the error of our ways and prepare to go forth and be better mortals. But now the church is fighting against dwindling attendances with the clergy stressing the need to become more socially relevant to start packing the pews again.Read full story
Checkout rage floors dad-of-two
Supermarket giant Asda is re-thinking its queuing system after a vicious outburst of ‘checkout rage'.Read full story
Archeologists uncover that Hercules had hero friend.
ATHENS, GREECE - Archaeologists have uncovered remarkable texts on an, until now, unknown hero in Greek mythology. This new Greek hero will now join the Pantheon, to stand beside what appears to be his friend, Hercules.Read full story
Baby Fanning's Father Identified, says Dakota
Well, don't we have a problem with age restriction here? Looks like Dakota Fanning's baby will have no problem trying to figure out who her father is…...Read full story
Beckham Beckham Beckham what will we ever do with you.
PORTUGAL ARE IN THE SEMI'S WHOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO. Well those are my feelings I cannot say the same for my father, he was backing England all the way, but not me I'm loyal to my origin.Read full story
Queen, Blair, Beckham quit over Euro2004 defeat
The Queen, the British prime minister and team captain quit their posts over England's shocking defeat by Portugal in the Euro2004.Read full story
Midwest US Hit by Twisters
UPI, June 24, 2004, Wisconsin, USA. The county's midsection has again been battered with devastating twisters. Crews worked to restore power and clear debris after the twisters tore through Wisconsin. One seriously dislocated ankle was repor...Read full story
Limbaugh implicated in brutal, yet tasty, homicide.
The Associated Mess June 24, 2004 10:00 PM ET WEST PALM BEACH, FL - Authorities are investigating the tragic death of a Florida man,...Read full story
Atheists follow in God's footsteps
Philosopher says that believing in God may not be the only path to salvation.Read full story