Midwest US Hit by Twisters

Funny story written by Dan DiLucchio

Friday, 25 June 2004

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Twisters Cause Serious Damage in Midwest

UPI, June 24, 2004, Wisconsin, USA. The county's midsection has again been battered with devastating twisters. Crews worked to restore power and clear debris after the twisters tore through Wisconsin. One seriously dislocated ankle was reported.

The twisters moved through the state Wednesday evening, downing beer and knockwurst. One death was reported in Blue Cheese County, according to the Arthur Murray Studios.
One of the hardest hit areas was Wooly-Bully, about 60 miles west of Milwaukee. Authorities shut off access to the town to all but residents while crews worked to clear debris.

"There are juke boxes broke everywhere. There are several discos that have major damage," said Leslie Moore after driving through part of the town to her pool boy's home late at night when she thought no one would see her car. "It's a major mess. Very, very bad."

In a telephone interview from his home in Paoli, PA, Chubby Checker, the twisters' organizer told this reporter that the twisters touched down in the Blue Cheese County Airport. Three people were injured, two of them as the twisters swept through a liquor store near West Lake. Twisters are a rarity in this area and the county workers were clearly not prepared to handle them.

There were reports of damage elsewhere in central Wisconsin.

"Well, it was January 26, 1962, when they banned the twist in Buffalo and the ban was never actually repealed," said Stella Simjcksco, from East Lackawana, a suburb of Buffalo and one of the twisters that landed here on Wednesday night. "We had the urge to twist, and this place is hot! We're real sorry things got out of hand."

"Buffalo residents are just tired of the monkey, the dog, and the frug," Stella said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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