Clergy in turmoil.
The Pope today denounced the author of a new book, published this week, saying the book was an affront to god fearing Christians everywhere.
Read full storyVatican Seeks More Money; Cracks Down of Free Services
Vatican City - The Vatican, facing its worst financial crisis of the 21st century, insisted on Friday that parishioners in the US and Europe start giving more money and pushed people of all nations stop asking for "freebies" from the church for thing...
Read full storyAll Marriage now banned in attempt to close loophole.
In the biggest offensive yet against gay marriage, sweeping laws come into effect after the Bush administration realizes that current law allows the legal union of a lesbian to a gay man.
Read full storyBritish PM Tony Blair Voted Most Popular Reality TV Character
London-In a surprising development British Prime Minister Tony Blair was voted as the most popular reality TV personality in a poll taken by the Gallup Company. Blair edged out fellow Brit, Simon Cowell who gained national prominence hosting the "Ido...
Read full storyOmarosa To Star in Apprentice Spinoff
New York City - NBC, trying to make up for the end of 'Friends', has created a sitcom starring Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth, called 'No Friends'.
Read full storyLesbians Take Over Seattle
Brutal takeover "not as cool" as some previously imagined.
Read full storyRoyal shock at latest pictures.
Buckingham Palace today blasted the US newsgroup CBS for showing pictures of the aftermath of the Princess of Wales' car crash in Paris today.
Read full storyWhere Art Thou Head, Wolfowitz?
Dear Paul, Now that many more Americans have died in Iraq after George W. declared "Victory" aboard ship in battle fatigues, I've learned that it was you who was the major architect of "regime change" in Iraq. What, indeed, were you thinking would replace Hussein? "Democracy" after 11 centuries of Muslimland Rule? Who told you that? Which lear...
Read full storyMichael Jackson To Run For President
Neverland Ranch, CA - Michael Jackson officially announced his candidacy for the office of the US President today.
Read full storyPakistani nuclear scientist hails Vanunu's release
"At last, the US and Israel have come to their senses" said Dr Khan, the nuclear scientist who sold Pakistani nuclear secrets to Libya and N.Korea, following the announcement of Mordochai Vanunu's release. "Nuclear scientists are artists",...
Read full storyHubble Telescope Discovers Black Hole on Uranus
NASA announced today that the Hubble telescope has recently sent them images of Uranus that have led them to making some shocking discoveries. "We have discovered what appears to be a black hole on Uranus," comment John Spacey, Director of Misa...
Read full storyDisney's Financial Woes
You know, I was looking at the stock market reports. I enjoy it. It's the greatest power-game in the world and you can really learn quite a lot from it. Case in point: Disney's stock has plunged over 20 points during the past five years. I couldn't believe it: Disney, the name that has meant heart-warming entertainment and WAY too expensive pens was experiencing financial woes! This is...
Read full storyGeorge W. Bush Library Opening February 2005
U.S. President George "Wimpy" Bush announced today that he will be opening his presidential library in Spring 2005. Most presidents don't establish libraries until after they are out of office. "I'll be lucky if I'm still allowed in the U.S., let...
Read full storyPreparing For Your Next Hospital Visit
You know, I was recently reflecting on my last hospital stay. It began something like this: "OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT IS THAT STABBING PAIN IN MY CHEST!!! ACK! IT'S RUNNING DOWN MY ARM!!!!! GGGGGGGGGGAHHHHHHHHHHH!" I had a heart attack; a goddamned myocardial infarction! It fuckin' HURT!...
Read full storyRhino Has Sex With Car
LONDON, England -- A rampant rhinoceros gave a group of visitors a day to remember at a British safari park when he tried to have sex with their car.
Read full storyJackson Under Indictment - - Surprise, Surprise
SANTA BARBARA, California -- A bench warrant has been issued for Michael Jackson following his indictment by a grand jury investigating allegations that the pop star molested a 12-year-old boy, a source close to the case said Thursday.
Read full storyThe Organ Donor Crisis: How YOU Can Help!
You may have noticed in the news lately that we're currently in a crisis. That crisis is not drugs, poverty, or domestic violence. No, my friends, our nation is currently faced with a shortage of organ donations. As crazy as it may seem, in this land of abundance, violence, and abundant violence, we can't seem to get organ transplants to people who desperately need them, primarily due to l...
Read full storyMove Israel Next to Crawford, Texas!
Last night at a pub (a very drunken one), the lone Jew in the bar erupted, "I've got a great solution to the Middle East mess, - not just the one Cheney and Sons put us into last year, - no I'm talking about the one the U.N. put us into in 1948 when it created the State of Israel, thereby royally pissing off to this day all of the Surrounding Arabs.
Read full storyCyprus To Vote No To Partition: War Looms Beetween US/EU and India/Russia
"I feel taken for a ride by the Greek Cypriot government," Mr Verheugen told the European Parliament.
Read full storyThe New Centurian
Chuck Terzella has reached a rather dubious milestone in his mediocre career as a writer on thespoof.com. He has just posted his one hundredth story on the online humor magazine, a feat that has caused loyal readers much dismay. However, plaudits and...
Read full storyHollywood Considers Special Award For Hitler
HOLLYWOOD, California: In a move that has created considerable controversy in the short time since it was suggested, Hollywood Producers have asked the Motion Picture Academy to consider awarding a special Posthumous Achievement Award to Adolf Hitle...
Read full story