The New Centurian

Funny story written by Chuck Terzella

Friday, 23 April 2004

image for The New Centurian
Yeah, Whatever.

Chuck Terzella has reached a rather dubious milestone in his mediocre career as a writer on He has just posted his one hundredth story on the online humor magazine, a feat that has caused loyal readers much dismay. However, plaudits and congratulations have been pouring in from all over the world.

Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, "You know, I actually like the guy in some weird way. I mean, for a Liberal piece of crap, he's always been nice to me. Of course, once we get the second term he's on his way to Guantanamo Bay."

Ahmed Bull Durham, President of the Union of Thugs, Losers, Assassins and Dead Enders hailed the feat by saying, " Allah be Praised, that Infidel scum can sure make me laugh sometimes. We could've used him in Fallujah to lighten things up. I gotta admit, insurgency and terrorism can get a little grim sometimes."

Private First Class H. Elpme remarked as he drew a bead on Mr. Bull Durham from behind his burning Humvee in Sadr City remarked, "Who gives a fuck about some shit head back Stateside? You wanna hear something funny? I'll tell ya something funny. I joined the fucking National Guard to get a free college education, to make something of myself. Now I haven't seen my wife and baby in thirteen months. Now, ain't that a riot?"

President George ( you're voting for me whether you like it or not) Bush said, " I've never heard of Chuck Ter...Terz...whoever the hell you're talking about, unless of course he's donated to my re election campaign. Then I love the guy."

Mr. Terzella, reflecting on his hundredth story said, a little wistfully, " Man, I had really hoped to write something better this time. Oh well, fuck it. I'm off to the bar."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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