Shroud of Turin - just a handkerchief!
Researchers at Oxford University have found evidence that the infamous 'Shroud of Turin', said to be the death-cloth of Jesus Christ, does indeed date back to the first century AD.
Read full storyMan finds joke in 'Rack of Wine'
The day was just like any other Tuesday, when this intrepid reporter came across the image as shown. For a second, maybe two, the image meant nothing to me - it was just a couple of bottles of wine.
Read full storyBlair offends royals with 'Alistair McGowen style' poses
Beloved PM, Tony Blair, has today angered royals with his recent portrayal of Prince Charles on top TV show "Alastair McGowen's Big Impression".
Read full storyAlice admits that 'wonderland' was "trippy as f**k"
Alice, star of famed children's book 'Alice in Wonderland', has today announced that her experience was 'trippy as f**k'. Alice's language has shocked many people, whilst the rest seem rather blase about the announcement.
Read full storyNew 'Pop Idle' TV show
Contestants are now being head-hunted for a new television entertainment show 'Pop Idle'. The aim of the show is to pick the most able but least motivated out of a group of 15 to 25 year olds.
Read full storyMan claims woman 'nagged' him
A man in Essex has today announced that his girlfriend of 1 year has nagged him.
Read full storyHasselhoff to become ITN's latest newsreader
News company, ITN, have lured Knight-Rider star David Hasselhoff into a £2million deal to read the evening news. Hasselhoff is said to be 'extremely hungry.
Read full storyRooney gives England coach Selection headache
England's footballing child-wonderstar, Wayne Rooney, has been cautioned after giving Sven Goran Eriksson a pounding headache. The injury was bestowed on Eriksson by Rooney's insistence in playing his heavy-metal records (by a band called Sel...
Read full story'Bums!' says world's most expensive computer
Sources at Datcomp, the US's largest military and science computer manufacturer, have leaked reports of a large-scale blunder at their headquarters in New Mexico.
Read full storySETI@Home results accidentally deleted - no backup!
The SETI@Home project has been running on many a computer for the past 4 years, downloading peta-bytes of 'narrow band signals' to their computers 'searching for extra-terrestrial life'. However, the project's organisers have anno...
Read full storyTatu joined by young male!
Controversial lesbian pop "duo" Tatu have surprisingly announced another addition to their band: a baby boy!...
Read full story'Luckiest' man alive dies in horrid accident
Dan 'Lucky' McLuck, died earlier this week in what can only be described as a shocking and horrible accident.
Read full storyGhost Porn hits the net - it's everywhere!
Ghost pornography is the latest internet craze that's unlikely to go down well in your local church. But according to internet expert Mark Thomson, its popularity is rising: "Ghost porn is a fairly strange phenomena - if you'll excuse th...
Read full storyWeetabix to be 'enhanced' with Viagra
Cereal favourite, Weetabix, is said to be launched within the next few months in a new variety: "Weetabix Ultra". This 'enhanced' version of the cereal is said to include small chunks of popular erectile tissue encourager, Viagra.
Read full storyBlind man says: 'stop licking my eyes!'
A blind man in Turesca, Italy, is said to be suing family members following allegations that they would sneak into his room whilst asleep and lick his eyeballs.
Read full storyDon McLean writes 47 minute song for new album
Veteran musician, Don McLean - famous for recently murdered song 'American Pie' - has released plans to include a 47 minute song on his new Album: "Screw Madonna".
Read full storyTennis stars - are they holograms?
The internet...it's a wonderful place where knowledge, wisdom and common-sense are thrown out of the window. But if we've learned anything, it's that real life sometimes is as crazy as Internet life. And that's certainly true...
Read full storyComputer giant to release new 'Dell-boy' PC
Computer Giant DELL are to release their new brand PC, the 'Dell-boy'. The machine is a 2.5Ghz P4, with a zirconia-encrusted gold case.
Read full story'Most pretentious band' awards hot up
The first ever annual awards show for 'most pretentious band' is ready to announce it's candidates this week. Many tip Rock and Rap bands to top the awards list, including artists like P Diddy and bands like Limp Bizkit.
Read full storyElton John told to 'fuck off'
Somehow popular musical entertainer, Elton John, was today told to 'fuck off', by me.
Read full storyLonely-Hearts ads to become entirely acronyms
Lonely-Hearts adverts that you may see at the back of any tabloid newspaper or magazine, are set to become even more cryptic. Many tabloid newspapers have released a statement to the effect that all adverts will become entirely acronym based, in orde...
Read full storyCherie Blair to change sex - revealed by husband's gaffe.
Media personnel were shocked today as Tony Blair has announced that he announced: "I am 100% behind my wife's decision to change sex", during a press conference about the Gulf War II. Blair's gaffe caused shocked outbursts by those...
Read full storyWomen found to have larger knees than men
In the latest battle of the sexes, it has been found that most large legged women have bigger knees than most small legged men. The startling results, discovered by Research Group 'Kneetech' are said to be causing a stir.
Read full storyJames Randi pays out $1million JREF Challenge prize to Uri Geller
James Randi, head of the JREF Foundation, a foundation dedicated to debunking the paranormal, supernormal and other "ending in normal" things, has this week been forced to admit defeat.
Read full storyThe future is bright - but smelly!
Scientists at Caltech University, FL. have started research on small bacteria that will process or eat, faeces whilst still in the body. Microbiologist, Mark Thompson, explained:...
Read full storyAmerican Football to be renamed 'socca'
The NFL, American Football's controlling board, have stated that American Football is to be renamed 'socca'. To fit in with what they called 'the 21st Century way of being', the NFL have decided to rename the sport simply because...
Read full storyButcher jailed for whipping out beef in public place
Like many a butcher, Jeff Wade had often been criticised for his apron wearing, an affront to the many people who don't wear aprons and thought by many to be 'over-egging the pudding', clotheswise.
Read full storyClassroom investigation: Stress caused by hard times
Scientists this week announced plans to investigate the hypothesis that stress is caused by difficulties in peoples' lives.
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