First there was the Drake Equation, devised in 1961, which theorised the existence of alien civilisations, and now a New York scientist has gone one better by proving that the existence of an alien version of the 1970s jazz rock band Steely Dan is a…
London: Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn’s, latest initiative to promote awareness of anti-Semitism, and eliminate it from the party, has been condemned as “anti-Semitic”. The initiative, which drew praise from Jewish groups and Labour members, was conde...
Wimbledon. Former Man United dictator Alex Ferguson was sensationally escorted out of the Wimbledon Men's Final today after trying to start a fist fight with a 90-year-old woman from Liverpool. It is believed that Ferguson became irate when his enjoy...
Manchester City football manager and self-professed humble peasant, Pep Guardiola, has been controversially nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. The move follows a behind-the-scenes sponsorship deal between the Nobel Committee and the owners of Manch...
Manchester, England. A team of scientists working at the University of Old Trafford have issued a controversial report that seeks to contradict claims made by the wider public in England and the rest of the world that Liverpool FC are a special club.
San Francisco resident John Precious, whose hobbies include attending Church and voyeurism, claims that his life has been turned into “living heck” by the permissive attitudes of his neighbors. “It’s been heckish. In the last ten years, the area…
Washington. The White House refused to comment on reports that Trump is set to nominate deceased chess genius Bobby Fischer to the Supreme Court. Trump apparently doesn’t feel there is any difficulty presented in nominating Fischer, who died in 2008...
A wrong-headed attempt to contact Tutankhamun by ouija board became literally that for New York resident Alan Finkelkraut who is now trapped in the head of alien conspiracist tv-personality and cryptozoologist, David Childress. It is thought that...
Dave Bennet, Utah, admits that he “could have made more” of his degree in theoretical physics, after he succeeded in sending himself backwards in time by twenty seconds last week. “Yeah, a lot of people are asking me "was it worth it?" I got to g...
David Cameron and a wooden effigy of Chancellor George Osborne have denied they are class bigots who plan to reintroduce medieval feudalism if re elected. Perched on horses and speaking at a torchlit pre-election press conference in a Norman castle,...
Liverpool, A homeless man forced to dig for a better way of life struck oil yesterday. Joe Murphy (50) originally from Bootle but homeless for the last 5 years due to devastating Tory cuts in welfare and unemployment assistance will now receive round...
London. The latest controversy involving Scouse hero Luis Suarez at the world cup in Brazil has led to an unprecedented deluge of condemnatory emails and letters to the country's newspapers here are just a sample. W Rooney, Manchester: "Ban him fr...
London. The PM 'Dave' Cameron announced that the coalition plans using savings made from denying the poor and vulnerable their basic needs to dig up the bodies of deceased welfare cheats and display them in public until "their relatives do the decent...
London. The prime minister David Cameron today announced that he would not rule out resorting to death squads in an effort to "make poverty history". 'Tough but fair' measures will be introduced if the Tories are returned to power after the next elec...
Bristol- A man infatuated by television presenters Davina McCall and Gaby Roslin opened up about his secret pain yesterday. Robin Robins (45)a computer analyst for MI6 who also admits to having a secret crush on Zoe Ball, spoke for the first time abo...
London- A spokesman admitted that the broadcaster had "got it seriously wrong" by commissioning hipsters to make its much criticised documentary series 'Welcome To Rio'. Police are understood to be no closer to identifying the whereabouts of the dang...
Hollywood- Steven Spielberg denied reports that he placed a curse on the Burt Bacharach biopic and brought the project down incongruous and financially ruinous side-roads. "Nobody gets Burt Bacharach more than me. Listen, I grew up with his songs...
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